Our church, Saint James, had a day of prayer yesterday for 24 hours. I went at 4pm to 5pm, and I went again at 7am until 9am this morning. I sat down and looked at God and I started to tell him everything that is wrong in this world that I worry and weep about… Then I zeroed in on who is fighting… mess of Kings, Shieks, Ayatollahs, old military men turned government leaders. Old men and women who hate each other. .. I was shouting at God because a mess of old mean, woman-hating men are fighting. Emphasis on mean and old. Then I realized. He knows. He knows. “They” have been killing for thousands of years in their meanness. I went back in my Bible to Cain and Abel, Babel, the Caanites and the Jebusites, David and Goliath, the Assyrians who dispersed Israel, and the ones who killed Jesus… they hated, and they killed him. Why would they be in power? I slid to a halt, and practically scrubbed the pages of John’s Prologue for my answer. Oh. He knows. He knows. Well then… and I proceeded to beg for my family. My sister who died away from the church. My sister’s children who have rejected me. And I realized… He knows. He knows. Then, “me”. “Wait,” he said. But Lord, Bring me peace. Peace so I can love. Bring me peace so I can just Love. So I put down my pen and I waited. Like he said. I just wait on the Lord.
You God are Creator, Lover, Inspirer, Breath of Life (Ruah). If I could just touch the tassel on his cloak, the hem of his garment… if I could just touch his feet. I reach out my heart to him.
“The Jews” were an angry bunch. (John 1:19). As religious leaders, the Pharisees and Saducees did not do their jobs of taking care of the people. They hated and they encouraged hatred (of Samaritans for example) and of heritics. To the leaders, Jesus was a heritic, and he was to be hated. They killed Jesus and his followers to wipe them out, and still a small remnant of the children of God persisted. The situation didn’t and hasn’t changed.
So, I looked up at God and I said, “So how must I act? Wait, huh?” He said “Yes.” Wait on the Lord. Be the remnant; the small remnant of the children of God. Persist. Love, and make straight the way of the Lord.
I returned to church in the morning. I looked at the Lord. You, Lord know, and you love. I believe that. Now who are the people who today live in that narrow strip of land where the Philistines of Goliath lived? Starving, shivering, thirsty, sick, frightened. Their babies crying or dead too. … Do they know what the governments are doing? Could I escape if I were with them, or would I just shiver in fear next to them in what’s left of my home or in a blood-spattered street. Waiting… for the next barrage of missiles. I look to God, our Creator, and he answers me. “Wait.” Do the little bit that I can do. Ruth picked up bits of wheat left after the harvesters finished. A little bit for Naomi. A small insignificant action. Pick up the scraps and make a king. (For Ruth is the Grandmother of David). Pick up the scraps. Give the scraps to God, and make them work. No pushing! But… “It’s not your business,” says the Lord. “Just teach what is.” God is. In the beginning was the Word. Darkness was there and he did not eradicate it. Wait. I thank you Lord that you brought me to the church. To the Cross. To wait. There is nothing that I can do except to love. If the thing is within my venue then I may speak, but speak and let it go. God takes in the children that we destroy, but this is not my pain to bear. I am to love and to have hope. And to wait. God bless us.