Category: Susie’s musings

In my last writing I asked what does the ark Noah built have to do with Lent? One righteous man built a wooden boat and he invited us to join him. Climb aboard. It must have been pretty crowded and stinky! Aside from the noise and the stink, what else was in the Ark? A righteous man. He did what God asked. He loved. He worked obediently to serve others despite neighbors taunting him. Surely he was taunted for building the big boat in his yard! How many times he looked up, asking for guidance and strength. We don’t know. He just kept building. Called to love. Leaning on God. Hearing God’s voice. And that is the hard part.

How many of us know we have heard God’s voice? Right now my neighbor is making a lot of noise in his side yard and honestly all I hear is a saw and men talking… Out front, in my neighbor’s yard people are mowing and chopping… It’s noisy! Ah! where is God’s voice? I can’t hear it for all the distractions. I’ve heard that his voice is in my heart. In Deuteronomy (30:15) Moses prayed we would listen to God’s voice… "Heed his voice and hold fast to him", but I can’t "hold fast" to him unless I am up against him. Leaning on his chest. I would lean, and he would catch me. Embraced, I could relax.

But I have walls and thorns I have built over the years. Bad things have happened. Many people have "left the church" because of stupid things "the church" has done. Many people have been hurt by priests and pastors. My church has recently, continuously, cleaned house and the latest is the leaving of office by a so called "Conservative Cardinal." Oh yes. We all share the labels, Conservative, liberal…. We develop thorns that keep us from getting too close to what we reject. Lent is 40 days of journeying in the desert with no outside influence; just soul and God. God is trying to move us. Try to imagine a dance teacher or a yoga instructor adjusting our limbs. We are straining to pose and here comes someone who says, "Like this." and they adjust our limbs. As you are adjusted by God, what do you feel? God bless us. Angels with us.

After the inauguration I felt hopeful and positive despite the Capitol invasion a short 2 weeks prior. Then the President ordered the rescinding of the Mexico City Policy (allowing taxpayer dollars to go into countries who might use it for abortion). Then we watched the trial of a President who was accused of ordering insurrection… "Who Won?" I wrote in my journal in big letters. Nobody is the answer. Nobody won and nobody was held accountable. There were, and still are, dark times. Troubled waters. Once more the slings and arrows were launched. Lawyers are able to say things that sound very believable… On both sides. So slings and arrows from all sides. I watched, because as I told Chuck, "This is history." Knowing the result despite the way I feel can make the tummy hurt. More hurt. Being unvaccinated; I’m still isolated so talking these things through with people face to face is difficult. I’m on the county list for a vaccination, and I’m following the "rules." Friends are getting vaccinated in other counties than their own so that is a good thing for them.

All through my silence I was writing in my journal though and I strongly recommend a journal! My friend says, "No one wants to read that …. " … "what?" I ask, "No one wants to read stuff from your heart? stuff from your very intelligent brain? stuff from your pain?" Ah, pain! there it is. I accuse another friend of ignoring the fact that she is lying to herself and to me because she can’t bear the things she does to get her into trouble, so she says, "My debt and pain are my fate. There will be a miracle." Oh there I go again, thinking I have the answer. What I do know is that we are not left in the pain. In the darkness. In the tomb. Jesus brought us up to be creative and to procreate. Build beautiful things. Write beautiful words. Make beautiful music. Serve God with good deeds done by the Holy Spirit’s inspiration. We were made for eternal life; our Grace was restored in Baptism, and we are healed with Sacraments which are the healing touch of God. We are healed by Jesus, who, saying, "I will it," reached out and touched a leper (Mark 1:40) healing the man who asked for healing. "If you wish it Lord!" I weakly whisper. "Of course I do!" answers our God. So, I asked myself in the past few weeks, "How do I get out of these troubled waters that are hurting me and drowning me?" Well the reading on the Tuesday before Ash Wednesday is good for all of us! In Mark 8:14-21, Jesus made a second miracle of loaves and fish… "Don’t you understand?" he asks? "Uh No," I answer. At one point, God got so exasperated that people just didn’t get it, that he told Noah to build an ark. There is a wonderful church in Nowa Huta, Poland. The government built a Socialist city with no churches, but the people, inspired by Karol Wojtyla, (Pope John Paul II), built the church by hand like Noah did. It resembles the Ark. Why do we need that symbol? Because God found one righteous man and told him, if he works he can save civilization… One righteous man, on an Ark in the shape of a Cross saved us too and that is what Lent is all about. Stay in the Ark was the message to Noah, until I bring you safely outside again. So what does this have to do with Lent? God bless us!

If I could change one mind it would mean that I helped someone to realize that Peace stands a chance when we stop fighting. It would mean we listen to respected people. It would mean we stop calling names, calling "fraud," hurting reputations, rather we start helping others who need help. I watch Sunday Morning on CBS every Sunday morning. Generally I DVR it so I can FF through commercials and FF through things I’m not interested in. So today I watched the first unfettered interview of Anthony Fauci. I didn’t really have reason to "know" him before this last year. I saw video clips of him being tortured by AIDS protesters. Now he has been tortured in public by people who think he’s lying and they don’t want to wear masks. I knew he was listening to the President and realizing the truth wasn’t being said. Today he spoke unfettered and I felt relief. Can I change one person who still believes the lies of the past 4 years?

For some reason the Fauci interview this morning made me think, what if I could change one mind? It made me remember a time when I taught 11th grade in a very awful year that I realized early on I couldn’t teach these kids. They were out of control before I got there. I tried to go over exams with them before I gave the test. Anything to teach teach teach. Even going over tests with them before test day. So I did that. I asked questions from the test. Then I said, anyone have any questions? And a student came up to ask and I took him over to my desk for a little privacy. The students saw that I left the test out and they took advantage of that. I answered question after question while others read the questions and copied them (question 1 is B, question 2 is C etc). One student came up to me after class and told me what had happened. One student out of 30 told me the kids cheated. I changed the test. Just shifted the questions around, and indeed when I handed out the test one kid blurted out, "you changed it!" How stupid he was!!!! I was broken by that experience because I hoped for students who wanted to learn and grow. "If only I could change one." That’s what I am. A teacher, a dreamer. As we walked her dog yesterday, I asked my friend, "give peace a chance." I’m not sure she is willing to do that. This morning, I refuted some of her "facts" and protests with articles written into the news in google. I did not get an answer. Can we make changes? Can we find truth and peace? The 11th grade girl who told me the truth is one. I pray for the others. I pray for Peace in this world. We can do that! God bless us.

Do you cringe when people repeat themselves? I am guilty of repeating myself with the "oughta dos" and (heaven forbid) the "should dos." My neices, my husband, my friends all tell me…. "You are doing it again; telling us what to do." Well who made me so perfect? Poor Chuck! We are together in each other’s pockets so much, so, if I can get him out walking (yea!) then I try to get him to walk a "few extra steps…" He says, "Hey I’m out here, don’t push!" I tell him daily, "need to stretch; need to exercise and walk!!!!". I also chant "relax" when he gets irritated over small things. "Relax; it’s OK; it’s small," I chant. Until he says, "Stop telling me…. to exercise, to stretch, to relax!" Well who made me the expert anyway? I have a friend who laments that she didn’t "make" her husband see a doctor…" Needless to say, I commiserate, but I also realize we can’t "make people do stuff."

How many times are the same things repeated in Scripture? God repeats and repeats, "repent, be humble, pray, have faith, rejoice." It is so critical that we believe that we have a new deal with God who loves us. We get the new deal every time we turn our eyes inward to our hearts and say to God, "I’m sorry." What the Lord repeated is for those who have faith in him, "Be still, relax into my heart, lean against my chest, I am here." God would have us be at peace, trusting, not angry. Lean back, look up. God bless us. God bless America.

A beautiful, brave, young 22 year old stood poised and free and read a brilliant Ode that she penned and finished the night of January 6. I have copied parts of an interview and the poem itself. This young woman needs our notice and our prayers. She is one of the hopes of America! What I copied from the internet:

The Los Angeles native told NPR she finished writing the poem, titled "The Hill We Climb," on the night of Jan. 6, hours after rioters took part in a siege on Capitol Hill.

"I was like, ‘Well, this is something we need to talk about,’" Gorman told NPR’s Steve Inskeep ahead of the inauguration, adding it had been "really daunting to begin the poem" given how divided the country seemed after the 2020 election.

Gorman opened her poem Wednesday by saying, "We braved the belly of the beast."

"We’ve learned that quiet isn’t always peace and the norms and notions of what just is, isn’t always justice. And yet the dawn is hours before we knew it, somehow we do it, somehow we’ve weathered and witnessed a nation that isn’t broken but simply unfinished," she said. "We, the successors of a country and a time, where a skinny black girl descended from slaves and raised by a single mother can dream of becoming president, only to find herself reciting for one."

"And yes, we are far from polished, far from pristine, but that doesn’t mean we are striving to form a union that is perfect," she said. "We are striving to forge our union with purpose, to compose a country committed to all cultures, colors, characters and conditions of man."

"And so we lift our gazes not to what stands between us but what stands before us. We close the divide because we know to put our future first. We must first put our differences aside," Gorman said.

Gorman, who said she was not given specific instructions on what to write in her poem, follows in the footsteps of esteemed poets like Maya Angelou and Robert Frost in reading a poem at a presidential inauguration.

Gorman received praise for her poem from the likes of Lin Manuel Miranda, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and Oprah Winfrey, who tweeted, "Maya Angelou is cheering—and so am I."

Winfrey gifted Gorman the gold hoop earrings and birdcage ring she wore at the inauguration. "For Oprah, this gesture continues her tradition of supporting poets ahead of their meaningful address," Oprah magazine explained. "When Angelou was chosen to read a poem at Bill Clinton’s 1993 inauguration, Oprah sent her a blue Chanel coat and a pair of gloves to wear for the occasion."

The Hill We Climb : in full:
Mr. President, Dr. Biden, Madam Vice President, Mr. Emhoff, Americans and the world, when day comes, we ask ourselves where can we find light in this never-ending shade? The loss we carry, a sea we must wade. We braved the belly of the beast.

We’ve learned that quiet isn’t always peace, and the norms and notions of what just is, isn’t always justice. And yet the dawn is hours before we knew it, somehow we do it, somehow we’ve weathered and witnessed a nation that isn’t broken but simply unfinished.

We, the successors of a country and a time, where a skinny Black girl descended from slaves and raised by a single mother can dream of becoming president, only to find herself reciting for one.

And yes, we are far from polished, far from pristine, but that doesn’t mean we are striving to form a union that is perfect. We are striving to forge our union with purpose, to compose a country committed to all cultures, colors, characters and conditions of man. And so we lift our gazes not to what stands between us but what stands before us. We close the divide, because we know to put our future first, we must first put our differences aside.

We lay down our arms so we can reach out our arms to one another. We seek harm to none and harmony for all. Let the globe, if nothing else, say this is true, that even as we grieved, we grew. That even as we hurt, we hoped.

That even as we tired, we tried. That we’ll forever be tied together, victorious, not because we will never again know defeat, but because we will never again sow division.

Scripture tells us to envision that everyone shall sit under their own vine and fig tree, and no one shall make them afraid.

If we’re to live up to our own time, then victory won’t lighten the blade, but in all the bridges we’ve made, that is the promise to glade, the hill we climb if only we dare, it’s because being American is more than a pride we inherit. It’s the past we stepped into and how we repair it.

We’ve seen a force that would shatter our nation rather than share it, would destroy our country if it meant delaying democracy.

And this effort very nearly succeeded. But while democracy can be periodically delayed, it can never be permanently defeated. In this truth, in this faith, we trust. For while we have our eyes on the future, history has its eyes on us.

This is the era of just redemption. We feared at its inception. We did not feel prepared to be the heirs of such a terrifying hour, but within it we found the power to author a new chapter, to offer hope and laughter to ourselves.

So, while once we asked, “how could we possibly prevail over catastrophe?”, now we assert, “how could catastrophe possibly prevail over us?” We will not march back to what was, but move to what shall be, a country that is bruised but whole, benevolent but bold, fierce and free. We will not be turned around or interrupted by intimidation.

Because we know our inaction and inertia will be the inheritance of the next generation. Our blunders become their burdens. But one thing is certain. If we merge mercy with might and might with right, then love becomes our legacy, and change, our children’s birth right.

So let us leave behind a country better than one we were left with, every breath from my bronze-pounded chest, we will raise this wounded world into a wondrous one. We will rise through the gold-limbed hills of the west, we will rise from the windswept northeast where our forefathers first realized revolution. We will rise from the lake-rimmed cities of the Midwestern states. We will rise from the sun-baked South.

We will rebuild, reconcile, and recover, in every known nook of our nation, in every corner called our country, our people diverse and beautiful, will emerge battered and beautiful. When day comes, we step out of the shade, aflame and unafraid.

The new dawn blooms as we free it for there is always light if only we’re brave enough to see it, if only we’re brave enough to be it.

WOW! God bless Amanda Gorman! Thank God. Angels with us!

Inauguration Day! This day happens every four years! It is a tribute to the American Constitution and the Founding Fathers who must have sensed we need a ceremony every four years to remind us that "We the people of the United States" of America have spoken and have been heard and counted. We celebrate with great gravity and thanksgiving that we are a free people. There has been awful war and violence in our history, but we always gather, "like clockwork," on January 20, every four years. First we pray. George Washington started this when he was first inaugurated. He walked to church with his companions before the inauguration ceremonies.

As we watched the Memorial yesterday for the more than 400,000 deaths since February and as we watch today the repeated process of inauguration every 4 years, I hope all of us are praying and not cursing…. I pray: "God bless America. Where there is hatred, let us sow love. Where there is darkness, let us shine light. Where there is sadness, let us bring joy. I pray you heal our divisions Lord. Let us do good, Lord. Let us move forward to serve you Lord. Let us acknowledge the healing balm you pour out Lord. Enkindle in us your Spirit of service. Let us heal." God bless us. Angels with us.

Good morning! It’s a chilly winter morning… in the 20s "up north" as we Miamians used to call it! Now I’m a Lake Placid girl and it’s 50ish and I’m chilly! Keep warm and safe my dear readers!!! This weekend we watched a great football match. Chuck and I have been watching football since the late 60s. He was very interested in the scrambling techniques of Fran Tarkenton whose running skills to protect his own life led to 3 Super Bowls for the Purple People Eaters in the 1970s. At the same time we were watching the likes of Jim Kelly, Bernie Kosar, and the great years of the Miami Hurricanes and Dolphins. Football is often related as a gladiator sport. There is one leader who hopes his team performs to his calls! One leader who can become a legend bouyed up by his team. He can’t perform alone. This weekend we saw Drew Brees and Tom Brady compete. Some people don’t like Brady because he has done some questionable things to win, but he’s still playing and he and Brees share between them some awesome records. Put a ball in the air and, if the right man is at the other end, Score! The game this weekend was tough as I was cheering for both men who could be my sons…! My mother used to do that! "Oh that was a great play!" she would say excitedly! "Mom! that’s the wrong team! They are the enemy!" we would shout!!! "But it was a good play!" Mom taught us a lesson…. it’s the great play we should be cheering!!! Great men are playing here! There will be great plays! Enjoy it! There were great plays this weekend. I loved best when Brees walked off the field and Jameis Winston came to stand off to the side on the line. The trick play resulted in 7 points and made Drew Brees laugh. He needed a good laugh as I think he was hurting. He was playing injured; hit too many times in the ribs.

Today’s reading at Mass was from the Gospel of Mark 2:23: When they were hungry, David left the battlefield to find food for his companions, and he shared the the Bread of Offering in the Tent of Meeting with his companions. Our priest explained that our word companion comes from Cum Panis: "To share or break bread with." Jesus walked through a wheat field with his companions, and in their hunger, they broke off stalks of wheat to eat. Pharisees complained that they were breaking the Sabbath Law. Jesus advised them to think back to David feeding his men the most sacred bread. "The Sabbath was made for men," Jesus replied. Give them bread. It doesn’t matter what day it is; they are hungry. Jesus might have had these words in his heart: "Come share the Bread with me," but the Pharisees couldn’t hear that. When great people meet in conflict, they can’t see each other or the needs of their companions. The Pharisees couldn’t "see" Jesus. Only one man can win. He either eliminates his enemy, or he and his team execute better and win the way. Only one man wins. (So the gladiator Drew Brees walked off the field having lost the combat.) Only one man wins and the other leaves the field of combat.

UNLESS we agree to work together to pool our resources and talents! I’ll bet you know where I’m going with this rather convoluted story! Why can’t we pool our talents and resources? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the group that has been fighting Covid for almost a year could sit at the table and share the bread with the new team? "Here’s what we learned. Here’s what we did wrong. Here’s what we think could be changed, but we just couldn’t get to it." Don’t slink off! Stay and help. Make one great team for America. But breaking bread, Cum Panis, just can’t be for everybody. Our work often ends in competition and bitterness. One seeks to defeat the other. Watch two children shouting at each other and one slinks off. The other stands there and looks confused or arrogant! The questions are written on faces: "Why did he walk off? What made him so mad? Ha! I got him!" I’m not asking the President to stay. Often the old President meets with the new President and gives him a letter and shares secrets with the new President. That won’t happen this time. He’s too angry. I’m not asking Drew Brees to stay as I think he’s injured. He needs to heal and move on. Same with the current President. He needs to heal. But I am asking for those of us who aren’t out of control angry or injured to work together, to seek solutions for Covid vaccine distribution, for hunger in America and for jobs in America. God bless us. Angels with us.

My friend and I were walking with her beautiful dog Dixie who kept glancing back at us both to make sure we are still with her and to assure us she is with us. Is she listening to our voices? I think dogs do listen to us and are very aware of our moods. As we walked, I watched the dog ambling along in front of us, tail waving in the light breeze. She looks happy. Then my friend said, "I’m so sad about what has happened in our country. We are ripped apart." I agree with her, we have come to a crisis with the storming of the Capital and the disrespect for places and people of elected position. We talked about the violence and the angry faces we saw on television last Wednesday; so angrily separated. "There is one person who can pull all this together," she said. …

"Who?" I asked, looking for that one person; the solution to our division, our anger, the damage we are doing to our national beliefs. "Who can save us?"

"Jesus." She said. "Oh." You see, I couldn’t see it. Mark (9:24) describes a father of a child with a demon (convulsions) asking Jesus for healing. "if you can…. heal my child." "IF I can?" Jesus asked…. The man answered, "Lord I believe; help my unbelief." It’s so hard for us to believe our troubles can be fixed. We are out there trying to make things right. Our lack of faith is a lack of handing things over to God. Let Go, let God. Here I am praying every morning with the priest during Mass, praying every moment I hear or see news about a sick friend. Everytime someone says something awful. Praying. But I didn’t believe it. I can’t SEE it. Instead I think "(the angry ones) "They" can’t see it. "They" won’t listen. There is no help." Two loving Catholic women dealing with such a tumultuous issue. One of us has such strong faith! I must grab the hand Jesus stretches out and beg him: "increase my faith." I will watch, and pray, and uplift the Inauguration ceremony this week. I will pray the new administration gets the shots into arms this first 100 days. I pray Biden is not blocked from healing the nation with vaccine. God grant us peace to cure ourselves. If we are dragged down by Covid, how can we expect to move forward with economics, producing food and production of our own materials? Lord help us help ourselves. Angels with us.

I love listening to the weather channel. The city name for today is Minnetonka. They are going to have a storm of rain and light snow. We watch from central Florida where the sky has been cloudy and threatening, but, quiet and for me, chilly! It’s winter-time and mother nature is having a headache and dumping on the United States. Stay warm dear friends and family, bundle and observe social distancing.

I hope we don’t do the wrong thing with the vaccines. For those of you who know what it would mean to give out more first doses, and therefore stretch out the timing and delay the second dose, pleace speak to government leaders and Fauci. If we need to get the second dose within 3 to 4 weeks, then let’s don’t screw that up! I certainly want us to get the vaccine out, but for heaven’s sake, people, get it right!!!!

The opening prayer at morning Mass today was: "Attend to the pleas of your people with heavenly care that they may see what must be done and gain strength to do what they have seen." This is a prayer of faith because there are many people who are acting the wrong way as part of the population proclaims. How do we "see" what must be done? How do we know what is the right thing to do? Every one of us must be discerning right now. We are most in need of "seeing what must be done," and acting with strength, faith, and wisdom. In a sense these are the words the Trump people used at the big rally on Wednesday… Acting with strength meant to some "attacking with strength". Men and women are acting on different sides, against each other, brother against brother. Families are begging family members to "settle down; tone down the rhetoric." Worried family members are separated by ideas and feelings. We can’t speak to each other. It is as if we, the United States, is at war. So we pray, "Lord remember your covenant with us; protect us."

In the Scripture today, (Mark 1: 29), we read that Jesus moved from town to town teaching and explaining the Scripture to a hungry people. Think about the activities he spawned. He sent out his disciples to towns to teach. He told them, if they were rejected, to shake the dust off their feet and move on. Don’t bring the unfriendliness with you. Just move on and carry the news. When the United States expanded west, the press went along and wrote what was happening. First the "news" was carried by the pony express and then it began to be carried over wire so people on each coast could know what was happening. For the most part we were educated about our world that way, by the "Press." I’m a little slow on the uptake and I don’t remember when Trump began to say "fake news" about most of what was reported. His 75 million followers believed every word he said, and the rest of the country tried to listen to the Press as we always have. He said the Press lies; listen only to him." Now he is banned from his social medias among them twitter and U Tube. He can’t make his private news for his "pack" of 75 million. When did that begin? When did he start taking care of and speaking only to his "MAGA pack"? When will we be able to restore the Press who tries to speak to 300 million, to all of us? I often switch channels when it is a news day like last week, today, and the next week will be. I go from the ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox channels (7 Press networks) and I also want to see what Newsmax is saying. … I listen to each and try to find some reason,; try to be discerning. Try to find the truth, just as we have to be discerning with "what we see, and what we are supposed to do…" I suggest we let no single voice be our dictator; dictating to us what to believe and do. God be with us and take care of us. God help us vaccinate! Angels with us!

Will you explain why we can’t talk to each other? Will you explain what you are thinking when you say, "I am a Conservative, but you, Susie, you are…" She can’t even say the word! I say, "a Liberal?" My dear, I have fought this name calling for months, maybe years. The name calling corners us, puts walls between us, and gives us definitions that draw lines between us. A line from Saturday Night Live is "I am what I am, Blanche." or maybe it is "You are what you are, Blanche." Whatever you are, or what I am, we were friends. What gets our backs up and causes us to yell at one another?

What was Jesus? a Radical? Isaiah 42: 1 describes "my servant." He speaks quietly, without violence, "a smoldering wick he shall not quench until he establishes justice." I have watched video of those who "stormed" the Capital last Wednesday… mostly white, painted, wearing fur and camoflage, screaming, shoving, hitting, jeering, laughing. Taking power symbols to use in rituals against those "in power"? Hey, I’m not happy with the Congress who argued for years… and left the hungry and out of work un helped. I’m not happy with the rhetoric that spews from jeering mouths, but I’m not about to yell and scream myself. I am unwilling to steal and hit, to be unreasonable with anyone who doesn’t agree with me.

Instead, we are called to pray for peace, and pray for people who can’t hear the still small voice of angels. Who can’t hear the quiet voices who wish for healing for our country, and healing from Covid. As we entered January, people talked about resolutions. Did we set a mission? Have we asked, "For whom should we pray?" Pray for miracles, peace, relief from Covid. Pray for a plan for Covid vaccination. Pray we get to what must be done and that we get to it. What are we to do? It is not to be violent, rather it is to be gentle, not trampling on flowers, not putting out smoldering wicks. Rather, let us clothe and feed children.

I consulted with my heart surgeon yesterday. We talked seriously about my aneurysm and what might happen, and how it will feel if it happens. I’m doing everything right to live long and prosper, but I can’t make this monster inside me behave. But it’s not probably going to burst in the near future and we will monitor it with another echocardiogram in 7 months. The doctor said, "Yes, get the vaccine." So I too am entering the line that needs vaccine 1 and vaccine 2. We all are in that line together. According to medical sources, we need both shots, so pray we can get this threatening violent mess straightened out and concentrate on the vaccine. God bless us. Read Hebrew 2:5: Nothing is higher than the Lord; All are subject to him. See that! On this earth, He is peace. God bless us.