Category: Susie’s musings

Chuck loves an early Clint Eastwood movie "The good, the bad, and the ugly"… well with all the blessings poured out on us, I can’t think of anything ugly. Today was, like Chuck’s injury, interesting. I made a special carry-in meal for Chuck today and as he ate, I asked about rehab. He answered: "The rehab girl walked me all over the place and she doesn’t make me use a wheelchair. We walked out side all around the gazebo." He went on and on about this walk outside, and I thought "He’s hallucinating. About what he wants, or what I do with him. He wants to go out, but they won’t let him." (The nurses on his ward make him stay in a wheelchair "for his own protection.") A few minutes after lunch, Chuck was wheeled away by rehab; I called Karen, and out of the corner of my eye, there goes Chuck with a PT girl, strolling all around the gazebo, walking a maze, waving to say "Hi" to people, doing leg stretches and all kinds of upper body coordination tricks the PT people do. "Oh I feel so guilty for doubting him!!!" He’s all up in arms because the nurses make him stay in a wheelchair and call when he needs to toilet. Protect him like wrapping him in cotton, and even gave him a full time assistant to protect him. I swear! Her name is Veronica; she’s at his beck and call. He will be so spoiled. We meet with the staff tomorrow and with the managing doctor who is making him stay in a wheelchair (anyone here heard of liability?) to protect him…. Chuck will say, "Let me have a walker! PT lets me walk!!!" My dog is in a fight. My first instinct is to fight for him, to say, "stop waking him up 4 times a night, let him sleep…. let him walk!" But my first reality is "rehab him." Friend Karen will try to come to the meeting and I’ll bow to hers and the doctor’s wills.

My own adventure for the morning was cooking a chicken dish for Chuck, packing 3 bags (Chuck’s clean laundry, my big bag, 2 sweaters, and the food) into the car and getting to the corner and having the tire light flash and ding. "Oh you sissy," I said to car, "it’s not winter yet." Car hates cold weather. But I’m not foolish either so I turned around to head back home and give the problem to Chuck. Realized he isn’t home, and turned around into Dick’s driveway…. Some of you have already heard my plaintive, "I need your help" and responded with much love. Dick walked around the car and we spotted a screw stuck in the tire. I then handed Dick my car key and asked to borrow their car and had all my stuff moved to their car when I said, "Wait! I have the van!" My brain only works on one thing at a time lately as you can probably tell from this rambling narrative. What used to be my competent brain is reduced to one cylinder and that one works slowly. Diane and I drove her car to my house and unloaded all the stuff into the van and off I went to give Chuck the special lunch. He then also ate from the tray they give him at the hospital. If Chuck lost any weight being on IVs and a stomach tube… he’s eating like a truck driver now.

So what’s the good, the bad, and the wonderful?
The good? Chuck’s progress; he’s alive… I thought he would die in post op, my prayer as I walked the surgery halls was his name. "Chuck… fight… Chuck fight." Today he took a 10 minute cat nap after lunch and then PT came – like clockwork. He woke up and moved off the bed, albeit grudgingly… and went off to rehab.
The bad? The screws that get into our tires (and our life?) when we least expect or need them. Not being able to sleep at night… I am finally sleeping well at night. Chuck has to deal with nurses taking his blood pressure at 2am and then getting back to sleep…
The wonderful? Friends that I can wake up at 5am and who will drive me to the hospital and stay with me there bringing me milk to drink, friends I can hand my keys to, friends who are praying for Chuck and me. Chuck is lookin’ good! Our God is an awesome God. Love Susie

Our boy Chuck was ready for a jog when I got to the rehab today. The nurses had him in the secretarial position with a tablet I had given to him… he was writing and I noticed his writing has improved. But bored. On Tuesday I get to meet with all the rehab people and I’m going to ask them to consider giving him a walker to walk the halls and work off some energy. Sitting in a wheelchair is just frustrating him. I think he needs a good workout morning and afternoon. If there is no rehab, I will need to entertain him on Thanksgiving so will welcome visits all day. I am torn between "overdoing it" with too many visitors (which I think contributed to his relapse back to the ER – something I hope I never have to do again) and letting him nap vs him chomping and jerking at the bit. Yikes this is delicate business. I will write to tell you all if he has rehab on Thursday and if not… we would love a short visit any time. If there is rehab then he’ll need that rest from 3-4. I certainly hope there are some football games on. Today he watched the NASCAR race and then… there was no football on (the TV in his room has odd stations… there might have been football, but not on the channels the hospital gets). Well dears, please continue to pray for Chuck to regain decision making and patience. He’s having trouble with patience and what is called the executive function which helps him to make the right "conscious" decisions. I know you pray for us, and believe me, your prayers are heard in heaven. And thank you for the beautiful dinners. If I lost a few pound in the beginning you are helping me find them!!!! Love Susie

Well my dears, Chuck had a good day of rehab, visitors from Coral Gables old neighborhood, speech therapy which involves moving stuff around in mazes, very complicated stuff… and only a one hour nap.. so I assume he is deep in dreams right now. I left him in mid dinner which is very hard for me to leave him at all, but it was dark and I am not a great driver at night and very tired so I ask forgiveness… He is fine as he has a nurse and a nurse’s aid on a floor that has only about 10 patients. Karen and Peter Skipp invited me for dinner and I ate great food! We are now watching a replay of the Gershwin award given to Paul McCartney in the White House…. beautiful music that makes me proud of the USA. Karen is teaching me to knit and Chuck will get a "rehab scarf" for Christmas. I will sleep here tonight amidst people who love me and have known Chuck since he was 14 (Peter). So my dears, I continue to ask for your prayers for Chuck. I want him back 100%. I am thanking you for the beautiful cards you are sending, and I have every hope of complete recovery so Chuck and I can continue to visit you and entertain you and love you. God bless you. Susie

Hi dear friends and family. I’ve observed two full days of rehab and Chuck is settling into a routine that I hope will be a full 2 weeks. We might hate being in an institution (being awakened, given food that is good, but not "Susie cooked", being taken to the toilet and then someone hovering outside the door waiting for you, being showered by someone…. although I think he enjoys being shaved… ) yikes not like home, but he gets rehab 9 to 11:30, lunch, back to rehab 1 to 3:30 and then he falls into bed! Today he had his glasses off and his head hit the pillow and I heard soft snoring noises! He’s up again about 4:30 to 5pm and I take him for a ride all around the grounds in his wheelchair for about an hour and then we wait for food!!!! he’s hungry. He has to work hard and he has to heal. The brain was stunned, and damage at this point is an unknown factor. He’s walking and talking and his sense of humor is intact. All systems seem to be go. He thinks he’s OK so he’s impulsive and trying to go faster than rehab folks want him to … some cognition and planning issues to deal with. Just need to heal. Friends have brought burgers and chocolate shakes i think twice or three times – probably need to think about cholesterol, but a couple of burgers is like manna when you are on salt free hospital food… and tonight I found the mother load! He sucked down his milk so I went to the desk and asked if he could have another milk. "Take what you want" she said, showing me where the refrigerator is…. OH boy! applesauce, milk, and ice cream!!!! He ate all 3. It’s the simple pleasures that make icky OK. Thanking God for many blessings. Love Sue

Hi dear friends and family. Chuck had a full day of rehab. This morning he took 2 tests on a computer: they flash different colored boxes and you have to push a button when you see a yellow box. He got 19 out of 20. Then they played tones and you had to push the button when you heard the right tone. 19 out of 20. They are exercizing his legs and walking, but they make him stay in the wheel chair during rest times which drives him nuts. They know there were seizures and a day of dizziness at Baptist so they are all over Chuck to be careful. So he learned to drive the wheel chair. When I took him for a walk today to the gazebo in the gardens outside his bedroom window at the back of the hospital; we were talking and he drove out down the walk. "What are you doing?" I asked, and he answered, "I wanted to be sure it is raining". I guess he saw the rain and wanted to go out and feel it – and indeed it was sprinkling. Then we road to the front of the hospital and I saw parking spots and said I wanted to go to his room and get the car key to move my car from a back lot. I parked him in front of a lovely water garden and when I came back he was gone. I thought….. "Oh we are going to get in so much trouble." He was headed across the driveway to another garden. "You stay here in the garden!" I fiercely said and went to get my car and indeed he stayed, driving up into the garden and was waiting for me. He is rehabbing quickly and not having any dizziness, but he is ready for a nap after the 2nd rehab. Today he got to the room at 2:30 and was snoring at 2:45. I love to hear him sleeping as I know the brain is down and healing. He wakes very slowly so let’s say he rests between 2:30 and 4:30. … He is eating well. Tonight he ate dinner and then Peter came with burger and shake and he ate that too. I hope he won’t have discomfort from all that food, but I don’t think he got a lot for lunch in rehab. … He’s being pretty good and behaving and the staff is very good at taking care of him. He liked the male nurse who washed and shaved him this morning, and he likes "Julie" who drives him to rehab and brings him back! Thank you Lord for 19 out of 20! Love Susie

Hi dear friends. I think we better brush up on our math skills! Yesterday a Doctor Pi (pronounced pee) came to test Chuck. I stood outside the door while she quizzed him. Name, dob, age, studies (he answered U of M Finance), year, season (he answered fall), month (I’ve kind of taught him it is November as he’s really lost November), day of week (she laughed because checked the board; well I check the newspaper to see what day it is sometimes), state, country (the United States of America), city, what type of building are you in? (he said "what type of building?" as if to say what an open ended question that is… he then said, hospital), 3 things repeat them and i’ll ask you again later… now the math: 100-7 he said 93. OK 93-7 ……… she said, "you’re writing that down" (I’ve given him a tablet to "take notes" and he uses it, although we can’t read what he wrote!) and I thought standing there using my 10 fingers, "I can’t figure it out myself" …. then she asked OK 95 – 7 = same response. I don’t think he got the arithmetic questions right… . … Repeat the 3 words. he did. she did some identification: what is that, what is that (no problem)…. instructions. I love these: before you touch your nose, look at the door. poor Chuck is constantly touching his nose for doctors and he even does things in advance before they ask him (this is the impulsiveness that comes with brain injury. It is Chcuk saying "I’m OK". Instruction: take this paper and read this. OK write a sentence. … He’s lost his writing – it’s just chicken scratch which I am sure OT will work on. He’s also a little paranoid "they’re watching me and won’t let me do things alone…" Rob and I both answered "Well yes Chuck you have had a brain injury and they are protecting you and themselves. Let them help ou. it’s their job." Our old Chuck is very much with us. In control, impulsive, moving quickly, but doctors are keeping him under wraps and moving slowly. When you come to visit, listen to his tales of woe, and then be positive and firm. We expect full recovery, it will just take time. Did anyone ever see Chuck ask for help, move slowly, or let anyone do anything for him? i am always so grateful for your help like when Chuck and I were up on the roof laying giant sheets of plywood and Dave and George came up and finished the job…. Chuck was so concerned about whether they were doing it "right". Enuf said. Please continue to pray for Chuck. His is a mighty injury, and his will be a mighty mission because he is one who helps people and I pray he will be able to use this experience to help others. Thank you for your prayers. God bless Chuck and praise God for keeping Chuck with us. Love Susie

My dear friends and family. The sun is shining, and after I do a few errands at the bank and insurance company I will go with crossword puzzles and magazines and "meet the rehab folks." Today is evaluation again and tomorrow starts rehab in earnest. Please you keep the positive thoughts and prayers coming. When Chuck was in the ER this last time I put my hand on his chest and asked our Blessed Mother to cover him with her mantle. If you look at a statue or image of the Blessed Mother Mary, she wraps up the baby Jesus in her cloak. Well, why not ask her to wrap up our "babies"? If you have my book, please read what I wrote about Mary…. Our God and the angels and Mary have a lot to do with this recovery. Again, my role with Chuck is not the one who will teach him stuff (like how to be careful when he gets out of bed – although I am there to remind him!) so much as it is to love. You all do the rest. My teams are in place and people are helping!!! When we got the diagnosis from the MRI and they said to rush to the ER … I thought oh good it’s not cancer. Because we’re all scared of that – especially in the brain… Many have been through the scary disease times and have came out on the other side with brains intact… What we’re dealing with here is physical and mental and it seems all we have at this point is faith, hope, and charity. Doctors are technicians and probably too overworked to do "emotional stuff" like explain things to relatives…. I will continue to search for the "what next" and all the details I need to know to return life to normal for Chuck! My friends keep helping me! For example: Karen (Skipp) a very old friend who works with the elderly at a rehab and nursing home came by last night and will help me and Chuck greatly to get through rehab. All his old friends will help him to get the scrambled past back into shape: for example; he had a little trouble last night getting time frames and the sequence of when he went into the navy, to the university of Miami, and FHP, but he can quote our wedding date and that we just had a 40th Anniversary party! he remembers the right stuff! Cheers and blessings to you. …. My continuing prayer is… God bless Chuck and bring him home. Love Sue

Hi dear friends and family. The second day in rehab finally came after a hiccup: Sunday night in the ER and a day and 1/2 in tests that revealed "nothing." I am calling what Chuck had on Sunday evening an "event." In the last day and 1/2 I’ve spoken to at least 6 doctors and indeed another "McDreamy." When I got to the hospital today, the neurologist and neuro surgeon were at the desk and this McDreamy was kneeling by Chuck’s chair and talking with him. Later McDreamy handed me his card. Are you ready for this girls? Damian Chaupin, M. D. I do not recommend hanging around a neuro science step ICU unit, but oh my gosh what "catches" hang out there. He is the cardiologist who was called to consult on the "event." He too found nothing wrong with our sweet Chuck. Doctors said he’s fine and they don’t know what caused him to "go away" for almost 1/2 hour on Sunday evening….Maybe a little TIA, maybe a seizure, in my opinion pure exhaustion, but doctors don’t think that. This was a very active morning while he was visited by neuro surgeon, had stitches removed, visited by the neurologist and the cardiologist; took a last walk with Sabrina the rehab girl (cute blond pony tail), and was finally dismissed from Baptist. As Chuck told me… "The doctor said, ‘Get out.’" Dave helped Chuck out of the hospital gown and into "sweats," and a van picked Chuck up and swooped him away from Baptist (We’re really trying to close this part of his adventure) and back to rehab about 1pm today. I immediately played Mama and got him into bed. (I might have to monitor him, make sure he gets naps for a few days, and keep him quiet until he stabilizes and heals some more. He ate a very good dinner and his eyes started closing again so We (Karen and I) . 0 tucked him in and left him ready for sleep at 7:30 pm. Karen will be able to advise and help me with rehab. So many people have helped already, and will help more later, and I’m eating well from the food neighbors are bringing. The rehab place is nice, clean, and people are competent. People check on him at least every 2 hours and they are very kind. God has blessed me with the best of the best, including Chuck and you my dear readers.

Was exhausting! he had an "event" and the rehab doctor wanted him checked out so back to Baptist. A day of tests revealed… nothing. I talked with the neurologist today who said Chuck is healing nicely…. Again what caused the seizures and the "event" doctors don’t know. it is the neurology is an art and not a science thing…. one more test today and he goes back to rehab – today if we can move the test taking and the review along. Dave is with him and I am home to nap. …. Ah! Sleep that knits the ravelled sleeve of care! (Shakespeare Macbeth) All systems are healthy, and we need to continue the work of rehab and prayer. Thank you so much for caring. Please wait to see him if you were considering visit as he needs rest for a few days. Love Sue

We have been blessed with all the love of our family and friends. Chuck’s first day of rehab was very busy and exhausting. Please no visitors today we are trying to focus on his rehabilitation. Thank you all for your love and support.