Category: Susie’s musings

Hi dear readers! It’s horrifying to turn on the television, but we have to to check on our fellows… Cousins in Connecticut are directly in the way of Henri. They are used to snow and heavy rain, but now throw in the high winds and rain of a hurricane. Bummer. Pray Henri goes East, out to sea, fast… Trouble is, it’s not turning away from the NE US.

Meanwhile in Afganistan, the Burkah’s are aired out and I just read an amazing article you might read to better understand why we must pray. Afganistan hasn’t been "free" for a long time… 1980 to 2000 war which the Taliban promised to end…. Their law is harsh for women who must stay inside the house except when escorted by a male. The article is about Shukriya Barakzai who woke up sick and dizzy but couldn’t go to the doctor because her husband was at work. She shaved her daughter’s head to look like a male escort, and she walked into Kabul "escorted by the child" to see a doctor… on the way to a pharmacy she was accosted by Taliban moral police and beaten with a rubber hose for breaking moral law. Taliban is out to shame and punish those who break the moral law. You can find the article on "The Taliban’s return is catastrophic for women" in The Atlantic.com. I will never suggest we need to go back into war to save these people. I ask God to help them. It’s something we tried… Help people who can’t help themselves. But we haven’t been successful. I remember watching helicopters trying to get frantic people out of Vietnam…. That war didn’t work did it? God bless us. We can financially support the veterans who are trying to help get people out…. The Twenty Year War co-author Dan Blakley spoke today about trying to help the evacuees. I asked yesterday… What are we going to do? Be charitable. Pray. Be charitable. Angels with us.

Yesterday I was moved by passion to write about something that has been ticking in my mind since my friend asked me a question that I couldn’t answer. He quoted Scripture which I believe is God-inspired. He showed me passages and he used the words, "it is sin." I was shocked as I think I and many people have become lax in calling actions "sin." If indifference is a sin, especially when in regard to God, then my Mother would send me to confession as she did one time up in Cleveland. I am (always have been) stubborn, and don’t take kindly to being called a sinner. It is good sometimes to realize what we are, and what we will tolerate. I’ll get off this topic now and move onto Sharia.

It’s on our television and news feedss 24×7 if we tune in to it: Afganistan is "lost." After 20 years of American fighting to establish a protectorate, the Taliban is back in spades and in control. And so the word Sharia Law is often being repeated by women. Apparently Islamic civil law is interpreted from the Kuran (Quran) the Islamic sacred book, believed to be the word of God as dictated to Muhammad by the archangel Gabriel and written down in Arabic. Muhammed was illiterate. He recited what the angel said and others memorized it. It was all written down after Muhammed’s death around 700 AD. Kuran is regarded as Islamic civil Law. Koran dictates Islamic Criminal law. Women bear the brunt of that law as they are forced to cover their faces and stay inside… A raped woman is a criminal and she can be killed. She can be beaten if she is caught going to the grocery store without a male relative. What is that all about? Are women genetically sinners or does the sight of a woman cause men to sin? Oh poor weak men. Oh poor down trodden women. It would be as if we were governed by the first 5 books of the Old Testament… "An Eye for an Eye…. If your right hand sins, cut it off, etc." Scary to us isn’t it? However do people govern by religious law? Today in Mass we read that the Pharisees tested Jesus, asking him "What is the greatest Law?" Guess what it is? "Love God." "What’s the second greatest law?" "Love your neighbor." (Matthew 22: 34-40). Wouldn’t it be wonderful if this were all we needed rather than all we have? God bless us.

"We made an agreement?" … The Old Testament is packed full of incidents of the Broken Covenant. Israel would bow down and pray, and then turn against God’s Law… again and again. …. Our prayers are full of "I believe in You my God, Creator…" but then what happens? Do people know they can’t keep a covenant? What makes us so vulnerable to "the way the wind blows." A Catholic priest, or a devout Catholic, or some others, will tell you unequivocably, "It is the devil." He’s right here always whispering what he calls "the Truth."

"So", my stepfather Jack would say, "What are we gonna do?" And I ask, "How do we keep the Covenant?" I guess the first thing is to know exactly what the Covenant is. "I am the Lord your God…. I will care for you, defend you against the enemy. Stay here with me." Jesus said, "I will take you home with me." So, how do I get there? Readings in Mass this week are from Judges. After following God and the Arc out of the desert, the people said, "We want to be like other people and have a King." "Oh boy," God said, "No you don’t… Kings will tax you, take your young men into the military, take your best land…" And so, we hurtled into the future of 2021 and … We have rejected most of what Scripture says for our own kings of wealth and power. We certainly have forgotten what our "Forefathers pledged." This is God’s country. What’s the latest thing we have done? Hanging LBGQT Gay Pride flag under the American flag at American Embassies? Yes that was even approved by our State Department and the President. Where does sin and breaking the Covenant end? Recently a very good friend asked me what I thought about transgender and gay, and I said, "I don’t know…. I am indifferent." Yesterday, I faced a very frantic friend at church who told me about flying the Gay Pride flag at the embassies (It was a few embassies and it was only in June, Gay Pride month. After patting my hand, she said, "We have to get to work!" … "Wow!" I have been wondering ever since, "What’s the work? and Where does it end?" I am conceerned with the kids who are changing sex because they don’t "feel" what they were born as. This goes in the face of God and our teaching: "We are made in the Image of God our Creator." But what if I don’t like what I am? I take a knife and drugs to myself. When and how do we stand up and seek the Truth again? In Matthew 22, a King invites people to the Wedding Feast for his son, but they reject him and go elsewhere. He has the ones who reject him killed, and he holds the Feast anyway, but he feeds the poor and street people. What is that Feast, and am I invited? Will I go? Yes, I am invited! Will I go or will I go my own way? God bless us.

I made such a stink to my friend who is unvaccinated and got Covid, really bad Covid, followed by pneumonia. I made such a stink that she begged someone else to stop talking vaccination, but she copied me too. What’s the problem I want to ask? Do you WANT to get sicker than we might if we are vaccinated? But I promised not to lay it on so thick…. But most people I know and go to Mass with and hang with are vaccinated (2 shots). I can carry the virus, but the unvaccinated can carry the virus too and it will get them worse than it will get me. I pray to God He move their hearts to protect themselves and us too.

So about the Burkas. I am sick at heart and sick in my belly about the 20 years of freedom the women of Afganistan just lost. It’s really so sad that their government couldn’t hold up. On May 14, 1948 Britain announced the end of the "British Mandate" over Palestine, and at midnight, Israel declared independence and the shooting started. Israel fought two very hard wars, waging war with the help of the US for sure, but in 1948 and in 1967, Israel beat back the Palestineans. So what does this have to do with Afganistan? Israel fought for freedom from hard Moslem rule and won. Afganistanian laid down the minute the Americans moved out. Afganistan women won freedoms they can’t have under strict Moslem rule. What if I couldn’t go to school after age 10? I worked hard at small jobs in the UM offices and cafeteria, and I studied many midnights and got two degrees beyond the bachelors just because I could and because I loved literature. The business degree I didn’t really care about, but AT&T paid for it. I could and so I did. Have you seen the Afgan women doing yoga? the women Olympic athletes …. They struggled to do athletics and cover their bodies. How free we are, and how free they were under the "American protection." It’s gone now and I fear for the women. Taliban need men children. Who do you think will be the mothers? Fear for the women. Pray for the women. God bless us.

To begin, Chuck and I have remained unscathed throughout the pandemic and the financial crises that have plagued the past year and 1/2. Amazing it is so long that this country has been at war. First it was politics. Lost friends dot the landscape as people can no longer talk without getting cut and bruised. Rather walk away? Might be a wise choice rather than suffer continual hurt. I and my friend Karla both have wonderful walking friends we can talk all about stuff and get positive reinforcement for our thoughts. Amidst the turmoil of political discord we have "Pandemic". Should be written in capital letters as, "it’s not going away…" and might be the final scathing of our nation and the world. People downright fight over vaccination and fraudulent "facts". Remember Pilot asked, "What is truth?" just before he allowed Jesus to be crucified. Will that happen here?

I remain steadfast on what is the truth. God made me (fashioned me in my mother’s womb) and I am a good person because God doesn’t make junk! I have been adamant with friends on vaccination, on the fact that we can vote every 2 years, and on the fact that everything "they say" is not lies. If I lived the way some people do, so bitter in their souls, I would curl up in the stink and crumble. I have threaded the pandemic needle and lost a little bit of comfort, but I am holding on with prayer and talking to good friends. The CDC says we are at war, and I believe it. The vaccination is allowing breakthroughs. That just means we have to remain vigilent. Keep praying my friends. Keep your equanimity! Wow what a great word!!!! I shall live by this today! Equanimity ( Latin: æquanimitas, having an even mind; aequus even; animus mind/soul) is a state of psychological stability and composure which is undisturbed by experience of or exposure to emotions, pain, or other phenomena that may cause others to lose the balance of their mind. Keep balanced. Learn to do a yoga tree! God bless us!

In the past few days in Mass we have been reading from Genesis 41-44 and Matthew 10… The similar messages from the experiences of Joseph and Jesus are: big mistreatment, but the message: Forgive the ignorant who hurt you and others. Let not your hurt be an obstacle to following God’s will. "But." we ask from our pain: "what is God’s will? Is it for me to be hurt?" We have been criticized. We have been working hard to do good against a tide of angry mobs who say it’s all a fraud. What we are doing is all a lie. Rejection hurts… But God says, "Pursue the Good, the True, and the Beautiful." God, in the form of the Holy Spirit, has given us intellect, will, memory, and imagination, sight, smell, and the other senses, all gifts to help us sense and see the Beauty God makes. Why do you think we love gardens so much? As children of God, our mission is "to take care of the garden"… So many images of farmers and wine makers in Scripture richly show us the efforts to plant seed, to grow grain, to make bread. To grow grapes to make wine. To make the staffs of life. "Go!" Jesus says. Tell the others." In my weakness, I ask, "what is my grain? What am I supposed to make? Where does God send me? What does God want me to say? How do I respond to God’s command to go out and teach? How do I respond to the Good News?" God’s commands are clear, "Take action boldly! Speak out, and if your word is thrown back at you with snears, shake the dust of that town from your sandles and move on…" I imagine that means we are not to take any of the snears on us as burdens. We are to shake the rejection off.

Over the past year, I have often been shocked and hurt by the accusations of fraud and lies by and in the institutions that I depend on. In Matthew 10, I am told that I am to shake that dust off while I am not to criticize or let the contrary thinking weigh me down. I am expected to pray a lot. I am expected to look for pure love and gravitate to that. I am to recognize my temptation to hang back yet to try to change people’s minds… I try to break the bonds to the past and move forward. There is something in me that tries to change things! Sometimes it seems that my efforts are useless, and I am small; my efforts are like grains of sand on a beach. The beach is the size of … infinity. But my grain is important to my God who made me to do that little bit. How kind he was to make me and give me my moment in His Sun! God bless us!

My sister, (bless her!), looked at a photo of me with a finished puzzle, and she wrote: "You look good! Your hair is very natural." And I wrote back, "I never intended to get fat and go gray." Yes indeed, gray is natural at my age, and I "let it go during pandemic," first because my hair stylist who cut and colored my hair took the time off to protect her child from infection, and now, it’s been a year and 1/2, and I’m gray and fat. Ice cream twice a day and wine at night, coupled with TV movies and all fat broke loose!!! But I started yoga class and WOW! even though the scale doesn’t show loss, my shorts are falling off! Also there is no ice cream, chips, or cookies in the house. Yoga or walking every day! My yoga instructor left exactly at 930 one day for an appointment and I worry about her as she fought cancer and now will have an eardrum fixed from an accident. So… "how was appointment yesterday?" I asked, boldly. "Oh! It was a haircut and color!" she said. "WOW! Beautiful!" And I set off for her hairdresser who is right next door to Sammy’s Pizza! Most people I see in town revolve within 5 miles from home, and near Sammy’s. So, I feel like with 2 Covid shots completed, back at church, doing yoga, and a hair appointment looming, I’ll be "back." It’s like dress up when we were little! Go for it! Wear those dress up shoes, get color, and, for me, get hair style!!!! God bless us all. God bless the lost people in Surfside.

When I was little, my mother, then a registered nurse in shiny clean white uniform with starched hat and clean white shoes, took me to a McCrorys five and dime on Flagler Street. As we entered the store and the smell of frying liver and onions assulted my delicate nose, mother said, "You can go to college or you can work here." My nose recoiled and took me off to college. From a very young age, I was a reader, a student, a teacher. My dolls were the beneficiaries of my learning. I always succeeded. I always read and studied and I even took my self daily on the bus to high school and college. Mother left for 2 years to get her Masters degree at NYU and I continued to find my way to high school and then college at Miami-Dade. Do you remember going to the "junior college" because there wasn’t money for college? When Mother returned from NYU, she got a teaching job at the University of Miami and I began my career as a working student. I worked in the Admissions office (they taught me how to file and organize things), and I worked in the student union cafeteria, learning prompt attendance at work, and continuing diligence. I actually applied for financial aid to graduate school, and I think I was the only one, or else Mother went over there and talked to them, but I won an Assistantship in the English department. So I was learning at Barry and teaching Freshmen at the ripe age of 21. Work, work, work.

So whats all this about? Work becomes a Credo. We do it despite the belly ache we get driving in rush hour traffic, the tension in our neck as deadlines approach, the nightmares over failing, the carpel tunnel and the stooped back from spending way too much time on the computer. I got lucky and was never out of work. I even quit several jobs, but came out the other side… smelling like a rose. It wasn’t easy. I have gray hair to prove I’m old enough to retire. And THAT is the point. The point is NOW WHAT?

Exactly. Now What? I never stopped to think about it. I just got into it and pushed. Moving from job to job as layoffs hit, or even as I quit and found "other work." Now I have an easy chair and soft shoes with good soles for my aging feet. I have to be careful pulling on shorts and my yoga pants so I don’t fall down. I sit when I put on shoes and socks so I don’t fall down. I can’t lift anything over 20 pounds so says the heart doctor. And I look at the next 10 years and think, "This is it". What should I do with my time? What value do I bring? I have been thinking this a lot as my friend Charlie, a very accomplished business man wonders the same thing. My advice to him is the admonition to review finances; "Do you have enough to stop the "work"? and then…. And then my mind goes blank. I feel like a slacker with my "at home routine." At least I go to yoga and I do laundry so Chuck and I can stay clean and the house doesn’t smell like… well I hope it smalls good. What value do I bring keeps me awake at night. Then yesterday leaving the library, I looked back and watched myself getting to the library. At yoga class I always compliment our teacher. She is beautiful. Well kept, beautiful hair, and a great yogi. I thank her for helping me to "get back from my pandemic slump". I "God bless" her. At the Publix, I joke with the cashier and the bagger. We laugh and I compliment them and thank them for working for me, and a lady customer says, "Can I go home with you; you are nice!" I "God bless them," and head on to the hair salon to make an appointment. I tell Brianna that she comes highly recommended and she is going to have a tough time getting me into shape, but I trust her! I tell her what a beautiful job she does on my yoga instructor and how happy I am to have found her! She looks at me like, "OK, here’s another one who has been cutting her own hair since March 2020. It’s good I guess these untended women are finally coming out again… but, what a mess." She is thinking something like that, and I laugh and bless her! Finally I thank the ladies at the library who have served me mightily at the library since I arrived here, and through the pandemic. We laugh as I take 2 puzzles and 2 books out! "I’m retired," I say, as I realize, "what a slacker I am." And there it is… I have no business, I have no goals, (Well except to lose this gut that hangs over my hysterectomy scar and I can physically feel the fat hanging over my waistline…). I try to make no judgments of others. I try to love. What does God want. I’m a slacker!!!! But then I realize: I’m supposed to be like the lily of the field, I’m little "brown eyed Susan" who made my Mother smile. I laugh out loud in yoga class when we do the happy baby pose! I am the happy baby. I love this earth and gardens. I love sunshine and rain. I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing. Being kind to my brothers and sisters, kind to everyone I meet. Blessing as I go. Just loving one another. And standing there on the sidewalk in front of the library, I touch my heart and I say, "Thank you Jesus." God bless you.

"You know how to do this," the nurse said to me during a "wellness visit" that Medicare pays for. Chuck and I said, "why not?" when our doctor insisted we sit with a nurse and talk about wellness. I know what I have.. the aneurysm, and I get checked. I do all the normal annual and other scheduled visits I need to do… So what else?

"How many times a day do you eat vegetables?" She looked up expectantly at my silence. I glanced over at Chuck who was looking at me too, seeing if I would lie? "Not very often," I mumbled. "Grains?" she continued. "Grains?" I answered. "Do beans count?" I was getting desperate to please this lady, and I was batting zero. "Water, first thing in the morning," she said, "when you get up. A glass of water?" "Coffee," I whispered, as I slid down in my chair. "OK" she said cheerily, "Exercise!" She is grasping now. I looked over at Chuck’s growing tummy. Pillsbury dough boy has nothing on us. Chuck, God bless him, said,"I get the mail every day!" The nurse looked at me, and she grinned, "short driveway?" OK this is not good. She’s got us down. I guessed the short walk to the mailbox didn’t impress her. So then she started talking about our will and our executor as if that’s the next step. "Well," she said, kindly, "you know what you are supposed to be doing"…. "Yeah yeah yeah, eat vegetables every day. Eat whole grains. Drink a bottle of water before coffee."

Sedentary is not good. Ice cream is not good. Popcorn is not whole grains. Knee pain is "a first sign of…." and it goes down hill from there. So I got yoga pants in a larger size and started off to yoga 4 days a week. I’m still rehabbing my knee since I tried to ride my bike, uphill, off our street. So I ride now to the beginning of the hill and walk up. I’m slow but sure. I come home from yoga and pull weeds. Now this does sometimes lead to me falling into bed for a nap at noon, but I figure it’s a start. Broccoli, asparagus, and carrots have been added and I actually drink a whole glass of water before my 830am yoga class!

So much for the physical body; my yoga instructor, Beth, working on our bodies, is also working on our Spirit. She’s digging around for the tiny muscles that scream and shout when I try to do poses from my knees. I can’t lay on my belly and lift both arms. Yet. … In "the child’s pose" my butt is up in the air while others sink placidly flat onto their calves. Beth makes us breathe. "How’s your breath?" she asks. "How’s your neck?" "Inhale and turn to the right. Exhale and turn to the left." "Don’t strain; it’s only yoga." Huffing and puffing, groaning a lot, and often sitting on the floor in confusion… I am trying to do some soul cleaning! You see, Beth sees this as us getting to know our body and our spirit. Can’t do something? Modify the exercise. No pushing or pulling, just gentle moving. Clear the head. Monkey brain, "out!" Constantly listening and adjusting, I listen to a straining muscle and ease up. I must give my body the same respect as I give my nutrition and hereby comes the Soul Cleaning. Beth wants us to listen to our Spirit! Move away from the clutter and noise and listen to the still small voice that says, "gently, silently, lovingly. It’s life." Beth asks us to be aware of the genial love of our Father. We open our hands to receive Grace, and we lift our hearts up. Oh how far we can go! Gratitude. The release of anger. Peace. Find your Beth and listen to her. She might be an angel in disguise! God bless you.

The Church is in Ordinary time, which is like summer, when nothing happens. We have celebrated the Annunciation and the Visitation and … We have celebrated Christmas, Lent and Easter, the Resurrection and the Coming of the Holy Spirit. Now we settle into a "teaching time." A time to listen and to think about what God wants. And I will take this time to "get back into shape" with yoga, and to "oh my goodness" try to make a difference with my own personal hoarding. Yes, I said hoarding. My hoarding is the piles of pages I’ve torn out of magazines and newspapers, saying, "Must read this book, must read this poem, must paint this picture." Yesterday I wrote down the DVD I found at my library, and today I will pick the DVD up at the library and throw away the piece of paper that says, "See this." There is a wonderful book I clipped to read that I will order on Amazon. This is a "do it or throw it away" time. This energy is fueled by a nightmare I have occasionally. I’m leaving school on the last day, never to teach again, or I’m leaving work, never to go there again, and I have boxes and boxes of papers to take home. You see, I stash my clippings everywhere I go…. So then, the nightmare continues, there I go, burdened with paper, no ride home, so I must trek to the bus stop with all that stuff. Needless to say, my cell phone is at the bottom of it all, I fish out coins for the bus, but get lost. I wander around in a downtown area, gradually leaving boxes behind. Chuck said he had a dream, he and Dave were looking for a lost trooper. I said, "I saw you way far away but you didn’t see me." I usually wake up, exhausted, on the corner of who knows where and who knows where… I showered, jumped into my Yoga clothes, grabbed coffee, washed last night’s dishes and settled in to get busy. Ditch this paper!!! What’s your hoarding? Love you! God bless us.