Category: Susie’s musings

With Autumn comes cooler mornings! The temperature doesn’t get to 90 until noon. So now I rush off to morning Mass and pray for all my friends. Jack Harlan used to add a SALPF (say a little prayer for) addendum to his monthly letter and I think it is wonderful to dedicate prayer to someone. Recently cousin Carol’s daughter Jenee was sick with Covid, but I hear Jenee will be cleared for work next week so she has not sunk into bad illness. Thank God!!!! A neighbor told me of two young people (in their 50s) who caught Covid and died recently so we are still fighting the demon pandemic. SALPF those who are fighting vaccination. Let them decide to take on this protective cloak of vaccine. That’s the way I believe. Give me a cloke that protects me, and I’m putting it on. OH! And I am walking again with neighbors who wait for me. I invite them to Mass…. I am not doing Yoga as that is offered at the same time as Mass.

Amidst polarization of our society, lost friends with whom we cannot agree, dissention, anger, we are sure the world is ending. But it probably isn’t. Jesus invites us to settle into his lap like a child on its mother’s lap… Relax and settle our souls in peace. In church I can either gaze up at the Cross, at a stained glass picture of the Last Supper, or at a beautiful statue of Mary. This last Sunday I looked at Jesus serving bread to his disciples. I looked at the face of Jesus, calm, and beautiful. His blessed hands offer bread and wine which he turns into his body and blood for us. He prays in John 15 through 17 so beautifully for us, "Father… I have loved them." In his last moments on earth, he knows he is going to be beaten, derided, betrayed, hung up with nails in his feet and hands to die naked before a jeering crowd. He knows what horrors await him. He knows his own people will allow the horrors out of their own weakness, yet he turns his beautiful face to his Father and he prays for us, his betrayers who turn our faces away. My friend weeps for the awful things our generation does to children, women, migrants. He weeps for the hungry, the enslaved, the homeless. My friend despairs and asks, "Where is God?" My answer of, "He is with us" doesn’t satisfy the weeping heart. Jesus wants us to put our head down on his chest and have full faith. Who knows what luxuries await the bedraggled migrant orphans when they enter Paradise? We certainly can’t fathom the Glory! This place is earth. It’s pretty in a lot of places and pretty awful in a lot of other places, but it’s only earth. God blessed the earth, but we damaged it…. If we would just try to do good. Be kind. Each one of us. A priest told a story: A man fed a robber one night and his friend said, "What are you feeding that creep for?" "If I am kind to him and keep him fed, eventually he will respond. I must have hope he will respond." Get their attention. Feed them. Love them. Pray they will respond. If not to you, then to someone. I might not see the leper I feed healed, but I have hope he will be healed in heaven. I can’t change the world. I can only change myself. Climbing up, lifting my little arms, I ask, "Lift me up, Lord! Teach me to Love!" Thank God.

Elijah ran away from the curses Queen Jezebel poured out. He asked God to take him up, but he couldn’t hear God (too much noise). Elijah just automatically assumed he would starve himself to death. "Run!!! Get away from the evil and die. Maybe then I’ll be OK." Physically and emotionally exhausted from the unstopping, ugly actions of the Queen and her consorts, Elijah ran!. But an angel gave him bread and water and told him "Get up and Go!!!" Oh darn. Gotta get up and go. Angel says so. When he got to Horeb… He finally found… peace. (A still small voice).

God doesn’t fail. He pours out Peace and Grace. There are many references to this in the Old and New Testaments. Think about a giant pitcher full of grace being poured out over the earth. God started pouring Grace out at the beginning when the Holy Spirit Graced the waters. And God doesn’t stop pouring. But what if we are not open? What if we are closed and shuttered against goodness being poured out on us. We are bitter, angry, defensive, protecting ourselves from "being hurt." We look out of our shuttered selves and we see… anger, shouting, muggings, killings, abortions,… We shake our heads and close the shutter. If I sit in church and look around, some of the people have said ugly things about what they believe vs what I believe. They have shaken me to the core with their mean spirited comments about the Pope and the President about whom I was taught to be respectful. Respect seems to have gone by the wayside, but not for me.  I have answered people with my "peaceful" thoughts and I get rejected. I get called names and I get labeled. I say "Don’t label me anything except ‘Child of God.’" But still it hurts. I get depressed and I hide. But that is when I block off the Grace pouring out. God needs me out and open. He needs me to "Raise up my heart… Open your hearts," Jesus says. In the Gospel, Jesus says to the Pharisees, "Moses had to make laws because of your hard heartedness, but here is the REAL law. Love One Another."  My friend, Yes, the world is crazy right now, but there is peace. I find it at the Altar in a Catholic church. You have to find it too. Let us continue our friendship and talking to each other. Let us open our hearts to each other. Let us accept the Grace being poured out. God bless us. OH Wait!!! He does! He has been pouring out that overflowing pitcher of "living water" since Creation!!! Thank You Jesus!

Associated with light, ardor, and purity, the Seraphim (the firey ones) are honored in the church today. Let us celebrate and thank God for Michael, the great soldier of God, Gabriel, the messenger, and Raphael, sent by God to guide us. Raphael takes our hand and guides. He is right "here." All we have to do is say "Yes." Think about what ardor is: Have you felt "extreme vigorous passion" lately? Or has our life settled into quiet acceptance of "what is happening"? Those who are "out there" screaming and yelling about how awful things are with hoardes attacking the borders, not getting vaccinated so the rest of us suffer and have expenses with them when they get sick finally, those who claim we are headed right for socialism…. They have ardor, they yell loudly, but their noise is not filled with purity and light… it’s filled with darkness, anger, and hate. I look into the shouting, sneering faces in the news articles, and I shudder at what I see. Then I turn to look at the Cross. I don’t see any of that anger in His face. I see love. Ardor for the Right and Beautiful, is Pure, is passion filled with love and the heat of our desire to get closer to God who makes things right. We might not see the righting. In the book of Daniel (chapter 10), Daniel is praying for help… He is mourning and fasting because the world situation is very grim. Then "One (a man) dressed in linen with a belt of fine gold… His body like chrysolite (or topaz, fine yellow), his face shone like lightening" comes. The angel’s message: "Daniel, beloved" "For 21 days ‘the Prince of Persia’ stood in my way… Michael is busy fighting him now." Is the "One" Jesus? Is he Gabriel? We don’t know. But the message is… when things are really bad, and it seems our church itself is in grave danger, we must ask God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, for help. He will send help! We might not see the final end of battle, the "win", but our faith tells us it is coming. It’s time to continue our prayer. Pray for my niece Jennie who has a sick husband and 2 children. Jennie is sick with Covid. Heal her lord and let her get back to work. What a load we carry Lord. God bless us. Let us know Lord, Angels are with us.

When I am confronted with a situation where I want to speak out, I often do… speak out and thereby I have lost at least 3 friends with whom I no longer speak comfortably. I have indicated their ideas and speeches are crap. oops… I said that didn’t I? A lady at church gave me two publications and said, "read this!!! it’s powerful!" I read 1 1/2 pages and threw it down in disgust. Anti government forcing churches closed, Anti vax, anti kindness…. Snide remarks about lies and fraud. And lots of Bible quotes. I wanted to wash my hands after handling it. I have to give it back. What do I say, for we must not stand still. This lady kneels in the front row at daily Mass. She wears an American flag scarf every day. What a hypocrite!!!!! Wow! Tell us how you feel Susie!

I advise people who I feel are speaking mean spirited words to go speak to either a doctor or a priest and ask them what the expert thinks. Priests and doctors are supposed to speak with wisdom. And so I trust them. I too probably should ask a priest what he thinks I should say because she asked already if I read the papers and would I give them back. …. What would you do here? We must speak out at our own risk. God bless us.

Or… we’re all gonna get it. Yes that is the dredded Covid I’m talking about. We entertained 4 friends out on the dock. All vaccinated, and the talk turned to Covid. And the fact that it’s going to become a never gonna go away virus … So what we have to do is remain vigilent. In church this morning the lector’s head was full. I could hear his clogged sinus’ as he read, the lady who leads us in song said her voice was going, and as I sat there, isolated in my seat rows from everyone, I heard coughing. Good grief. I believe the 3 I heard are unvaccinated. One lady is back from a 2 week isolation with covid. She’s still sick. Walks slow, looks tired. My mother, who hugged everyone, would be very sad. Mother hugged! No more hugging Mom. No touching. ACK!!!

Yesterday I tried (again) to get a friend to accept vaccination. She said she won’t get it because it has baby parts in it. No! Well lets see; back in the 70s there was a "line of code" that was made from fetal tissue. The line is so small that it isn’t used, and certainly no more exists. The Pope asks people to get vaccinated. It’s not a sin for us to get a vaccine to save ourselves (whether or not it was developed in the 70s with fetal tissue.) The Pope would like us to save ourselves. I talked to a priest yesterday about this and he said his answer to "them… the naysayers" is "Shut up!" I was reminded of Biden who got so frustrated he said to Trump, "Just shut up!" So with that dispensation, I will get the booster when my time comes. Just like we line up for the flu shot and get our Publix $10 gift card, I’ll be lined up for the booster.

Jesus asked us (in Mark chapter 9) to accept and take care of the little one. Little is innocent, needy, and hungry for love and learning. When we take care of the little ones, we are little too. St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta told the world to take care of the little ones. So, we first have to identify the little ones. I think we have 14,000 of them sleeping on our border…. sneaking in when they can. And we are afraid of them that they will take over. My parents both talked about how their parents left home for a better life in America. Of all 4 of my grandparents, 2 spoke No English, and they came for a better life. My Italian grandfather swept floors at the steel mill. My Italian grandmother had 9 babies and took care of people in the neighborhood, probably inspiring my Mother to go to nursing school. What the immigrants willingly do is the cheap work. Have times changed? Mother Teresa addressed the US President and his leadership: “If we remember that God loves us, and that we can love others as He loves us, then America can become a sign of peace for the world. From here, a sign of care for the weakest of the weak — the unborn child — must go out to the world. If you become a burning light of justice and peace in the world, then really you will be true to what the founders of this country stood for. God bless you!” The topic of this paragraph is babies, but what about the people of the world who are starving? We can’t take them all in. Although we do have a lot of land, but we need to help out of our wealth. What can we do other than complain loudly about "the rabble at the border"? How can we help the weakest of the weak ? St Mother Teresa is dead, and have we changed at her words? What can we do? God bless us.

On September 10, in Mass we read Jesus say, "Do not criticize because it would be the blind leading the blind…" because I would be complaining about a person with a splinter in his eye and I have a wooden beam in my eye. Get the beam removed from my eye first, then lead the other man to prayer. (Luke 6:39)… I try not to criticize, and when politics rears his ugly head, I try not to become engaged and I repeat, "We have a vote." I try not to become engaged because I will only get angry, which is a sin in itself. It is not peace. Just that. I can’t go to the border and make things different. i can’t make people get the Vaccine. I can only secure and soften my heart. I can only pray for compassion. I can only pour out my tears as the sinful woman who washed Jesus’ feet with her tears. I can only pray for the injured. And I can vote. This morning we had a Communion service with Consecrated hosts from the Tabernacle. Our leader read a beautiful homily from "The Word Among us." I took notes: Based on 1 Timothy, based on disputes, We don’t have to give in to disputing. Rather we can follow Jesus’ example when he was accosted. Reveal the Father’s heart, Full of Love. Let Jesus’ holiness sweep aside negative rivalry. Eyes fixed on Christ, let us be encouraging. Bring Jesus’ Light into every situation. Bring the Light of Jesus and his Presence into all my life. Stop the negativity. pray. We are children of God. Do I believe God is "in charge?" God bless us.

“When you pray, you only have to ask for two things: You should ask for the light to see the will of God, and you have to ask for the courage to be able to do the will of God.” Father Al, a priest born in Washington DC, dedicated his vocation to establishing homes where poor children receive care. He worked hard to establish homes in South Korea, the Philippines, Mexico, Guatemala, Brazil and Honduras. Father Al died of ALS in 1992, but his homes, and the convents he established, live on. Father Al saw "the light" as that which illuminates our lives so we don’t stumble around tripping over our own weakness. I’ve often gotten into trouble with people by quoting, "We don’t need new laws. We need to ‘do the right thing.’" And people who oppose what "I say" is "the right thing" tell me… "what is right for me is relative."

Right is relative? I don’t think so. Is love relative? Is it OK to kill? Well, some people think so or our prisons wouldn’t be full. I watch the commercials about saving abused puppies, and I am so sad about caged, hurting animals who look out of those so sad eyes at us. They are beaten, starved and caged. Our cousin has rescued 2 cute little dogs who are really damaged from being abused. She changed her life to "save them." … I watch the commercials and I always say, "What about the babies we kill with abortion?" Here I am with my face out in the wind because many people believe abortion is a woman’s right. If only the "mother" could see those innocent little eyes… She wouldn’t consider abortion. She would do the right thing. But we aren’t supporting that are we? Go back to Father Al and what he did. He built homes for the poor children. We have to take care of the children. It’s the right thing.

I am not in support of the new abortion law in Texas. I don’t want to force people to love or to do the right thing… That’s not right. Can you imagine being afraid that your neighbor will turn you in for a reward because you "broke the law?" Let us pray for God’s light and love to shine in all hearts. It is shining in our nearly empty churches… Go and find the light of God and "Do the right thing." God bless us.

In the old days we tried to be part of the solution… But it goes back far into recorded history that there are always "nay sayers" who are only complaining and criticizing. The Pope came out on Sunday and asked people not to criticize… Rather stand and ask for light. Ask for reduction of darkness. Ask for a purging of fear, judgment, anger, and anxiety. Ask for a clean heart. (read Psalm 51: "A pure heart create in me O Lord.") We all have darkness. We all fear being hurt, but if I am encouraged and built up, I forget that I am afraid! In Psalm 27, the poet says, "I gaze on the loveliness of the Lord." When we look out we see smoke, floods, broken houses, messes in the street, and did I mention angry people? We ask, "what is wrong with this world?" and then we start to point, name, and criticize. Wait!!! We who walk the earth are all in the same boat! The waves crash around us and we are all seasick! We are all "on troubled waters." St Paul wrote to his churches, "You are children of the light. You can face anything that comes along if you grab the Lord’s hand." Now look out and think, "We are not at war any more. No more IEDs." Let this go. Stand up like a small child. Lift your arms to the sky and take it in! Grace is being poured out all over you!!! Listen: What others do is not my concern… My relationship with my Creator is my only concern. Keep singing and reaching for the sky and ask God to take care of the others! God bless us!

When I was debating who I was going to vote for… Not liking either choice… my sister advised me of my choices. Now let me tell you, my sister is a wise Crone! She’s "been there; done that." A divorced, single mother of 3 children, often criticized for her ways of bringing up her children. Often criticized for the life she led as an artist who loves the beautiful deserts of New Mexico. She sent me to Abiquiu, the home of artist Georgia O’Keeffe and I realized why Sarah loves the countryside! I know how much Sarah wanted to live out her life in New Mexico, but she chose to be near her family in Jacksonville. Anyhow my wise Crone of a sister talked to me about the Presidency. "Who do you want to see speaking to you from "the Oval office" when bad things happen? Whose calm voice and gentle demeanor will soothe you?" Sarah asked. Well this certainly has been the week for that voice. I saw our President lower his head when the reporter Doocy hammered him. I too have lowered my head and backed off from hammering voices in the past year. But that head lowering wasn’t power presidency, and I wish he hadn’t done that. He wanted to say, "Shut up!" like he did say to Trump at a debate, but he was criticized for that too, and actually he is a gentle man. So he probably prayed, "Shut up!" …. Now I shake my head with, what? sorrow? I’m not sure what I feel. I strongly pray for our safety here in the United States and I support the drone strikes that we have retaliated with when we were hit at Kabul airport. As if to say, "this is what we are going to do… we will strike back, so stop it!" Today the bodies of 13 military men and women were brought back to Dover Air Force base and recieved with high honor while New Orleans braces for a big hit from a hurricane packing winds up to 150mph. The images are so sad and frightening.

In church this past week we have been reading from St Paul’s first letter to the Thessalonians. He wrote, (I’m paraphrasing) "We are family. We pray together for our protectors. We pray for those we don’t know and don’t love. … We pray for those who are far from God…. Let us no longer offend God." … "Love one another… aspire to live a tranquil life; to mind your own affairs." Let us eliminate negativity. It’s like snail slime. The negativity is voiced and then it stays behind even after the snail creeps off. Rather say the name of Jesus as in "O my Jesus… forgive us…" For those who think you don’t have to repent or say, "I didn’t sin." What do you think our lack of prayer is? Think about asking God our Creator to help us to Love. God bless us.

Look at the silly donkey without a tail! Quick! look! Then suddenly you can’t see. Someone has tied a scarf around your head, covering your eyes. You are now blinded. You are tossed around in circles. It’s dizzying as you pass from hand to hand. There is laughing and lots of noise. Then strong hands on your shoulders stop the spinning and something is placed in your hands, "Here, pin the tail on the donkey. In the right place." You bluster, "But I can’t see the donkey! How do I know where his tail goes?" People are laughing and hooting and hollering. The noise is deafening! You move forward and they laugh. You turn right and they laugh louder…. Left? They laugh and jeer: "You are no where near him! You can’t do it!!!" This is frightening. A thought fills your mind: "I can’t do the right thing because I am relying on my own strength and I’m blind! I can’t find the donkey, let alone put his tail in the right place!"

There are other games like this. Remember the pinata! Again, you are blindfolded and tossed around. Then a big heavy stick is placed in your hands. "Hit the pinata! Get us our candy!" You would love to get the candy, but "where is the darn thing?" … Sound familiar? Blind, we can’t see where we are going. We reach out to stick that pin or to hit that bundle of candy, but we miss the mark. Our senses are all screwed up because we miss the vital sense of sight. We’ve been tossed and turned and blindfolded. Dizzy, we can’t see the target. Depending on our own strength we are useless.

Scripture is filled with people who make promises to God and then forget… They turn back to their ways of worship of their old gods. Are we like this? What are our gods today? Greed! What is enough Money? Power. What is enough power? If my pursuit is wealth and power will I want to "do what I believe in and let no one stand in my way?" Will I resort to cancellation of those who restrict me? In a sense, God restricts us. He says, "You will love and honor the Lord your God first, and then you will love and honor your neighbor." Putting God and my neighbor first puts me third. But what about my desire and dreams for power and wealth? Rather than a Baldacci or a Catherine Coulter book, pick up Scripture and read Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges and Samuel. Count how many times the words are repeated: "But Israel turned away from God and back to their own gods." Finally, Israel gets tired of being beaten up by their neighbors and asks Samuel to find them a good strong king! He will defend us!!!! And God, always loving and caring for his people, says, "don’t argue with them Samuel. Give them what they want, but warn them first: … Warn them solemnly and inform them of the rights of the king who will rule them…. He will take your sons and assign them to his chariots… soldiers… he will set them to his plowing, his harvesting… He will use your daughters… He will take the best of your fields…. You will complain against the king whom you have chosen, but on that day the Lord will not answer you." (1 Samuel 8: 8-18) It’s there. Read it. But, our eyes are blinded; we can’t see it and we are relying on our own strength.

In church, we are asked to pray for America… I think it’s not the right prayer. In humility, the tax collector prayed, "O Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner." (Luke 18:13) God bless us. Angels with us.