Category: Susie’s musings

Hi dear readers! I went over to the hospital all full of foreboding because the last time I saw Bonnie she was all fight and frustration and no calm. Today she was sitting in the easy chair all smiles and happy because the trach doctor is coming! Well within 5 minutes he came and Bonnie was all lighted up. She wanted to talk to him, but he was all business, so I said to him, "she wants to talk to you." He looked at her big smile and he softened up just a little and greeted her and told her what he was doing and that she would cough a lot…. so "just relax." You should have seen. This obstreporous angry lady just settled like a lamb and did exactly what the doctor said. He pulled out a tube and put in a smaller one and immediately she is able to talk a little. It’s like a little more than a whisper, but boy oh boy does it make a difference. She wanted a mirror to look at the trach. How would we feel not being able to "see" what’s poking out of our throat? She also felt for the stomach tube. OK that’s still there. Speech therapist has to do a swallow test and the oh boy oh boy!!!! food and water coming up! I sent photos to her daughter and granddaughter. I sat with her for a while and she adjusted herself in the chair with help. She is back folks!!! Bad Bad Pneumonia almost got her. Let us all go get flu and pneumonia shots.

Chuck and I are midstream and almost drowning in books at this moment. I reached the half way point in the library, dividing my side (mostly religious books), into mine, garage sale, and church. This morning I started on the fiction and am organizing by author and searching out duplicates for garage sale and I’ll let Chuck decide if any of his precious James Connolly or Clancy or Patterson etc etc books will go to garage sale. Kathie has a lot of our stuff on internet and in her store so…. We look forward to halving our bounty!!! It’s sunny and beautiful today after a blustery grey sky day. God bless us and let us thank God for blessings!!!

All the books I studied and taught are glaring at me from the garage sale pile. I’m not going to read or teach Old Man and the Sea, Huckleberry Finn, and Walden again. I feel so sad giving away the books but since I’m not teaching like I used to I am trying to give to anyone who will read. I also made a pile of Catholic writers, books I’ve read and given book talks on, and I hope to give these books to my new church in Lake Placid if they have a book nook. If they don’t, and they agree, I’ll help set one up. It’s hard going through things and giving away or selling half, but as many of you know, I have too much and don’t want to move dusty things I haven’t touched in years and years.

I have visited Bonnie daily and today was her first day with no family here. She is very anxious. Trying to tell me what she wants but I can’t read lips. It is very frustrating for her and occasionally she gets mad and pulls on the Oxygen tube, and then the nurse puts mits on her so she waves the mits around and shouts voicelessly. Hopefully tomorrow she will get a smaller trach and she can talk… We have to get over this hump until she can swallow and doctors are happy with her breathing and doctors can remove the whole trach. Oh my dears! We need a miracle here. Bonnie is very strong. She wants to get up, get those mits off, and get out, but she can’t yet. Lord heal Bonnie and send the doctors to put in the smaller trach. More tomorrow. God bless you dear readers.

My friend Bonnie is improving. And I pray that her family will embrace her and get her back to full health. From what I have seen of Bonnie’s family, her healing will be filled with love and support. The pneumonia and infection has left her weakened, but rehab is planned, and hopefully a new refreshed life filled with a whole bunch of children, grand children and great grand children there will be dancing and singing. We pray to the Lord that this is his will!

Today a storm hit Miami and our lawn furniture was tossed around, Chuck’s small sheds were knocked over and the glass jars he had full of nuts and bolts were broken. We didn’t hear the damage happening, but it sure rained hard. Just a tiny tornado wrapped up in a lot of heavy rain. I was in the library sorting and packing books and Chuck was packing the contents of the big hutch. I haven’t seen local news so I don’t know if anyone else had damage. It’s calm now, and we have picked up the broken glass, reestablished the sheds, and put the lawn furniture back. We hope all is well with you dear readers. Keep creating and thank God!

It’s Saturday afternoon. I went to the hospital this morning… praying all morning, distracted in Mass with thoughts of my childhood friend in serious trouble…. I prayed for her and for others who are sick with mental or physical illness. I went to the hospital praying the Hail Mary and the Our Father as I walked… As I approached the CCC room Bonnie is in, I saw her lying there all quiet, mouth open, tube in her neck and my heart dropped. Then her daughter Donna must have said, "Hi Susie!" Bonnie turned her head to the door and she lifted her arms and grinned at me! Her whole face was alive with that smile! We continued for the next hour to communicate with eyes and hearts! She can’t speak yet with trach still in, but she is totally breathing on her own, but she mouths words…. much like me whispering to Chuck, "turn left at exit 26" and he would say, "What???" Bonnie looked like she was laughing and she grinned as we talked. Then Donna said, "Do you know the news about Allison?", and Bonnie really came to life with big facial expressions!!!! Allison, a member of twin granddaughters of Bonnie, is pregant with her first. She is bright, intelligent, sweet, a thoroughly good girl who has come from Fort Lauderdale every day to be with Bonnie from the day Bonnie passed out in the doctor’s office. Allison is pregnant and Bonnie livens up!!!! My dears. I haven’t seen my friend so lively in a long time. Sometimes we need to be taken totally out of our world of troubles, loneliness, problems, and we need to be dunked inside of ourselves. Bonnie lay in silence for 3 weeks. What did God intend? Who is this bright and shining friend I now have? What can I expect of her? Well I expect that we will be closer friends because I’ll be more gentle and more caring for her in her fragility. When I said I have to go, Bonnie reached over and picked up the sheet and started to put her leg out to get up and go with me. "No, not yet, sweetie," I said…. "You have to heal first. Stay right here in this bed and be obedient." She did not panic or fight. She lay back down with resignation. As I left the room, I prayed "Thank God!" and asked now for recovery. God bless us! Let us go help someone in need. Just hold hands and pray!

We lost many men on D Day "liberating" Europe. We lost a lot of men in Europe and the Pacific on land and in ships. Yet we are still at war. Today we celebrated and honored the veterans of D Day and of the Cuban Missile Crisis (Both big life takers) at the Miami Military Museum at the old Blimp base off 152 Street where today the Metro Zoo and a train museum share the space that was once occupied by soldiers. Thanks to God for taking the veterans to heaven. There were chaplains all over the beach that day, and a squad of men especially trained to find and bury the dead. Thanks too for their brave efforts.

I visited Bonnie this morning and she is improving. More thanks to God. She was sleeping but we woke her up! The pulmonologist doctor came in and assessed her. Lungs are clear, she is breathing on her own with supplemental oxygen through the trach tube. Her oxygen level is 100%. They say all vital signs are normal. She just has to settle down. She tried to get up and go last night when her visitors left and the nurse ended up sedating her So she goes backwards. Settle down Bonnie. Pray my dears for the sick that if they can heal they will heal. If they cannot be healed then pray for God to be swift in taking them.

We are in the midst of a huge packing mess. I wander from library to art room, into kitchen, into living room or dining room and select stuff I want and pack it. It’s going along and it will be a big bunch of stuff and lots of furniture when we finally go in September. We also went with neighbor Kathie to her antiques store with some stuff to sell. Hope to get a few bucks to start to fill up the empty coffers. God bless us all. Happy weekend!!!!

Having scraped all our coins together from every place any coins existed, Chuck and I carried a Cashier’s check into a title office today and bought a house in Lake Placid. We picked up homeowners insurance, opened a checking account at a bank called "Heartland" ❤️, we visited a shed place, an air conditioning place, the tag office and generally started making foot prints in Lake Placid. The ride from Miami at 9am today took 2 hours. We are on the road at 3pm and facing arriving in Miami at 5pm… Rush hour! I’ll get spoiled like mad with the quiet in our new home…. We are slowly going through all of our stuff accumulated over 49 years of marriage and moved between a rental apartment, Coral Gables, Westwood Lake, and Big Pine Key… And into a somewhat smaller house, so "throw it away" is my stock answer if Chuck asks if we should keep this (rusty, browned, old) paperwork, book, etc. Actually sell or recycle, or throw away… I’d like to dispose of 1/2 of our stuff. (Oh but I might wear that one day)… Dear readers, please continue to pray for Bonnie. She didn’t respond to me on Saturday but she wiggled her toes Sunday for her granddaughter Allison. We are praying she wakes up so we can start recovery and rehab. God bless us! Thank God.

It seems that we spend a lot of time waiting. People and things just won’t march to our drum! Bonnie’s surgery was moved from Thursday to Friday and then delayed Friday from 1 to 3. All we can do is thank God for good surgeons, and wait, and pray. I am here to be a familiar face when Bonnie wakes up. The CCU is also the recovery room so they will wheel her in here immediately after surgery. Bonnie’s granddaughter Allison has been here every day after work and has kept a beautiful hopeful attitude about my stricken friend. All we can do is be hopeful, prayerful, and whisper: "Breathe Bonnie"! The surgeon just came in. All went well. He says it’s not a cure; she will stay here until issues can be resolved. Our biggest concern is breathing on her own. That is the most important thing isn’t it? We take that big breath at birth and we squeal about it!!! "Where’s my nice warm water???" And then we breathe our last 90 or so years later. And we pray that breathing will be natural and unimpeded all those years of life. "The breath of life". If you or a loved one smokes, Stop it!!!! God bless us.

It’s hatching time. At the lake we have tiny duckies, teenaged Egyptian geese, and a mother Morehen sitting on 3 eggs in our pontoon boat engine well. About the selection of a place for your nest Mama… Not too smart. We took the boat out twice both times noticing the little Mama standing on the beach cooing a lot. "What’s up with the Morehen?" We wondered as we boarded the boat and toured the lake. We sat over on friend Glen’s dock for about an hour before coming home. There she was .. on the beach "coooo cooooo". Next time was Memorial day when Chuck went out and put two flags in the boat, US flag and Submarine service flag. Again… "Cooooo coooooo". Off we went for another hour. Then someone in our party got smart and suggested she has a nest in there. "No!!! Couldn’t be". Yep. Three eggs. Yesterday Mike and I swam while the Mama Morehen watched us very carefully from the engine well of the boat… She finally settled down on the nest, and we left her alone. Meanwhile, we watched 2 duck Mamas with about 20 duckies, and the Egyptian geese shepherding the teenagers. All is well at the lake… So again Chuck and I have poultry children.

My friend Bonnie is still in CCU, still intubated. I learned yesterday that she has had several pneumonia and bronchitus attacks in the past along with a lot of second hand smoke and her lungs are just not working well. This means blood oxygen levels are very low. It was pneumonia and a serious infection that caused her to collapse in a doctor’s office. She was intubated that day 14 days ago and now doctors must remove that tube. Today a tracheostomy is planned. Pardon my spelling . Doctors say that is temporary until lungs can heal. I pray so. God bless us all and let us offer special prayer to our God today, Ascension Thursday, prayer in praise for his eternal presence in our lives (if we let him in). God bless us.
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I’m at Baptist hospital visiting friend Bonnie who got filled with infection possibly from a large skin wound on her arm. When I saw her on Palm Sunday she was healthy… Then her daughter called to say she is in ICU (CCU at Baptist). Sedated and loaded with antibiotics, intubated, and very anxious and restless. I visited today for the first time and … It is very very difficult to have a friend my own age writhing around in a hospital bed loaded up with tubes, eyes open… But non responsive… Very scary and sad. The breathing tube had been taken out, but put back because her lungs are infected too. Pray for my friend Bonnie… And for all our brothers and sister in Christ who are experiencing serious illness. I was leaving the CCU and a couple passed me and the woman said "this is all part of life"… I’m not sure what she’s referring to, but I have a firm belief that we are not walking alone (grab and kiss your angel)… And thank God.

As for myself, I visited general practice doctor who pulled aneurisms up on his computer and showed me mine… He read from medical journals which state not to repair until aneurism grows to a certain size. Because the risk of surgery at my size isn’t worth it. So as much as I want repair… I’ve now heard from our lawyer (who is handling purchase of house in Lake Placid) and from Chuck who worked medical malpractice for 32 years, and from doctor… Repair does not outweigh Risk at this point. So I’m going to have echo cardiogram to look at valves and other stuff and just continue… Monitoring and waiting is the advice of surgeon too. I feel very good. Swam in the lake with Mike 2 days in a row which is so calming!!! So my gentle readers, please continue to pray for my peace and healing.

Finally, we are moving forward on closing on the Lake Placid house. Owner will stay there and pay rent until September. So more swimming and pontooning all summer!!! God bless us! Bless our 💓 heart friends!

Since we have Submarine veterans meeting in Fort Lauderdale today (Saturday) we drove to Jenson Beach and spent the night with Peter and Karen enabling us to only have a 2 hour ride to Fort Lauderdale for the meeting. Home about 4pm in time for vigil Mass. Chuck is my chariot driver. I got word yesterday that my friend Bonnie is in the hospital ICU at Baptist with a serious infection. I’m in touch with her children and invited them not to sleep in a hotel but at my place. Pray for Bonnie my maid of honor! God bless you Bonnie.

My BIG doctors appointment to talk about plans for aneurism is changed to Thursday so more time for praying! Have faith, Susie is going to be OK! God bless us!