Category: Susie’s musings

As we walked along Placid Lakes Boulevard today I saw that our neighbors are flying the American flag, some at half staff. The Federal Government suggested we fly at half staff until Monday for the dead heroes of the Covid 19. And then on Monday continue for the fallen soldier heroes. In thought and in heart, our heroes are close to us. Let us say a quiet "God speed you to heaven…. and Thank You for your life – lived in service."

Walking today was hard. Chuck walks fast… Good grief; he doesn’t sweat either. This little measly walk along the Boulevard doesn’t even make him breathe hard, let alone sweat. Today I just couldn’t keep up! After a few, "slow ups" I let him go. It was like letting a grey hound go! When I walk hard and fast I breathe hard! and sometimes I can’t get air fast enough. I found this on the mountain walks with Karla and her dogs, I felt funny breathing hard and my partner wasn’t. I always wondered about that. I have never smoked but CT revealed I have emphysematous changes in the apices of my lungs. What does this mean? My parents were heavy smokers. The car was often filled with smoke. The living room was filled with smoke and full ashtrays and I used to curl up in my father’s lap and eat cheese off his plate (and sip his beer). When I got out on the streets, I hung out in smoky bars. You know what we smelled like when we came home from bars. It was "get into the shower with your clothes on and wash your hair too" and I could still smell the smoke in my nose afterwards. So listen! Today I’m preaching (again!)… If you smoke… Stop It! If you go into a smoky place. Get Out!

I will not have the news on today so I say a little prayer for all "my people" and hope all are healing. Friend Mary is recovering from breast cancer surgery. God bless Mary and bring her to health. God bless you who are suffering financial and health woes. Angels with us. Fear not. God bless us.

In the lake in Miami we used to have a giant snail that laid eggs in giant pink slimy strings. icky messes of pink strings hung from our sea walls. Then along came the Limpkins. It’s funny how the birds "know" where the snails are and come and eat. Soon the pink slimy eggs dried up and no more appeared. Limpkins solved our slimy problem by eating the big snails who laid the eggs. Right now, here in Lake Placid, on our canal, there are 2 limpkins hunting in the yard across the canal from us. One is a regular. He "fishes" during sunrise and sunset hours. He walks along the seawall and then jumps in! he disappears for a moment and comes up with a snail in his mouth. Then, he jumps up on shore, wrangles the snail out of its shell, eats it, drops the shell on the neighbor’s lawn, and dives back in! We too have a pile of empty shells on our dock where he "fishes." He’s always been solitary, but this morning another limpkin came running toward him in another yard, but skidded to a stop up against the neighbor’s fence. Is it a mate? a friend? We don’t know. The two of them are studiously ignoring each other right now. I left Chuck watching them so I could watch daily Mass.

I also had to remove the bird feeder yesterday as a heavy rain got the bottom layer of seed all wet. It’s dry now, and birds are posted at judicious limits from each other on the fence, waiting for me to bring the feeder back out. While we sat watching the canal at sunset two nights ago, a beautiful shiny black bird with shiny blue highlights let us know the feeder was empty by serenading us with a raucous calling as he waited on the fence! Good grief! As I hang the full feeder, I tell those big birds, let the little guys get in here too!!!!

So I am concerned about the little guys! My sister said she is concerned about my anguish; my angst …. I turn on the news to see how "people… my people" are doing. I’m a people too so I want to know what improvements have been made in medicine to conquer the virus. The other day I was quickly overwhelmed by destructive, even pernicious, what I consider mean-spirited talk… I chewed off a thumb nail as I listened to accusing, arguing, name calling talk about political figures by a political figure… I had to turn the TV off without finding any constructive solutions. People are sickening and dying. I’ve shared stories and prayed for people in ICUs on respirators. We hear about families losing loved ones and now children are affected by a virus we all should be arm in arm fighting. Instead, we are slinging threats and vicious rhetoric. Yesterday I said I pray we come out of this isolation time a different people, concerned about the poor and concerned about life. "End abortion. End hate," I wrote. This isn’t political. This is life. Everyone, every human being is in this. Our world is a little like those two limpkins facing each other from different sides of the fence. They are of the same species, I looked them up and discovered "It is the only extant species in the genus Aramus and the family Aramidae. " Now I’m not sure what that means exactly, but I think it means they are the only ones like themselves. So, like us, they need to jump up on that fence and fight this thing together. Or …. one of them jump over that fence and make friends with the other one. There aren’t any others. Time to get outside and exercise. At a socially acceptable distance! God bless us. Angels with us.

In the Gospel of John chapter 16, Jesus says, "In a little while you won’t see me, and then you will see me again" and the Apostles ask among themselves, for who dares to ask the Master? "What does he mean…. in a little while… where is he going?" In daily Mass on EWTN, as the priest talked, as he spoke, I added to his beautiful homily. I wrote…. ….

In a little while your grief will become joy. It has been 40 days since Easter. This was an unforgettable Easter. We couldn’t celebrate Holy Thursday, the Last Supper, Good Friday. I missed half of Lent. Easter was a day meant to bring Joy and Hope. "He is Risen." Not joyful for many who couldn’t be with loved ones in sickness, it was a time of heavy grief. We have not been able to hold hands and comfort each other in sickness and death. Bodies still lie in freezers, unburied. Funerals cannot occur in many places yet. Grief, sadness, and loneliness have stalked us and wrapped around us. St Therese of the Child Jesus promised she would shower us with roses and the patrons of EWTN have surrounded the altar in the small chapel where daily Mass is said with roses. A rose for each Rosary said for healing. Jesus asks us to look at the flowers of the field. Look at the flowers of Spring. They grow for the glory of God! They grow for us for whom this earth was created. God gave us a gift of hope in the beauty of nature. We must let God’s creation: stars, great oceans of daffodils and tulips, iris and orchid, small animals fill us with Joy! Sorrow walks with us, but beauty surrounds us. Look up. A bird lands on my bird feeder. Yesterday 3 birds hit the feeder at the same time! They swayed there, pecking at the seed reminding me, "gotta buy more seed." An orchid sways in the warm breeze. Ripples in the water of the canal behind the house indicate to me a mysterious life I can’t see, reminding me that I hope to follow to a mysterious life I can’t see, but I must hope for. Today in celebrating Ascension, 40 days after Easter, we learn that Jesus has gone to Heaven, to the Father Creator to prepare a place for us. Because I can’t see or understand what heaven is, I must believe in and listen to the Holy Spirit, sent by Christ to whisper to me that Christ is with us and he waits for us (another mystery!). As Communion is given in a small chapel on television with only a few celebrants, I am reminded to graft on to Jesus in Spirit and heart. I’m reminded, "have faith. Be joyful." "Joy is the most infallible sign of the presence of God." (Leon Bloy) In all the unbelievable meanness of our world, of politics and illness, I must be joyful.

Today is Ascension Thursday. 40 days ago, we celebrated Easter, at home, on our couches. Not in church. We celebrated the Resurrection and defeat of death. Easter reminds us to have joy over the defeat of death in the midst of sadness. Have Hope. Trust our Father has made us a heavenly home in the most perfect and beautiful place where tears and anger do not reside. When we come out of isolation we must use what we have learned in this time. Not the harsh political accusations, but the value of love and the value of life that must be honored. End hunger, end the poverty and wretched living conditions of our people (think of the poverty of the Navajo Nation). End abortion. End hate. "Behold I am with you always until the end of the age." Never permit me Lord to be separated from you. I know that my Redeemer lives." God bless us. Angels with us.

There we all were, dancing around the yard, laughing at the little otters poking their heads up and looking at us; as curious about us silly humans as we were about them. That was yesterday. Today the neighbors were all gathered out at the edge watching a 4 foot alligator slowly, brazenly, swimming up the center of the canal. "Boooooo! Get away from here! We have otters. … We hope." Isn’t life like that? One day all is well; we are playing and planning and the next day an alligator raises his ugly head. This alligator called Covid 19 has taken livlihoods and lives. He has sapped Joy and Hope. My sweet great nephew Nathan is Valedictorian of his high school class. He played both offence and defense on the highschool football team. He lifts weights to bulk up as…. he’s always trying to overcome his "short genes". My sister, his mother and father all barely reach five and a half feet!!! Nathan, you are fine. Just hold your head up and you will be 6 feet tall!!!! Nathan’s grandmother, my sister, said he has to give a speech. I wrote some healthy Bible quotes and some words about Joy and Hope in Christ in his graduation card. It’s all about looking out at what’s happening, even looking at people being miserable…. and holding on to faith. Jesus said, unequivocably, LOVE. FORGIVE. Period. Not the end of the story of course, but, we must not let the atmosphere of our nation and the world that carries a lot of animosity (we hear the word, "hate", a lot too)… we must not let it get to us. Acts of the Apostles recounts that Paul and Silas were scorned, arrested, stripped (naked?), beaten with rods, and thrown into chains in prison. Guess what they did? "praying and singing hymns to God… all the prisoners listened… a severe earthquake shook the foundations of the jail and the doors sprung open." Out they came and the jailer was converted. The jailer bathed their wounds (said, "I’m sorry"?) and fed them… He came to Faith in God. What did the jailer do? He gave up his job probably and took on the yoke of Christ. Love and service. That, Nathan, is what we must do, no matter what is happening on the surface of the waters. No matter that storms rage. We must be praying and at peace in our hearts. I learned something this week about our heart. It’s a muscle protected by the breast plate, and behind it, behind all that protection, resides the amazing blood vessel the aorta. What an amazing structure. Our vital organs are physically protected, down deep. So, Nathan, let the down deep things open up and accept the Peace of the Lord. Don’t be infected by "what other people do." "In the presence of angels, sing the Lord’s praise and have faith." (Acts 16 and Psalm 138.) You are beautifully and wonderfully made dear nephew….. grab hold of faith and move forward. Do not let these (bad) things get to you. Shine and find others who shine. Be an otter, not an alligator! God bless us. Angels with us!

Yesterday I was late for my walk because we had a party of otters in the canal! Chuck, John, Steve and Connie were all out on their docks as I was leaving to go walk. I love the neighborliness of our new home, as it is just like in Miami when someone would see a manatee, Mike, George, Kathie, Tammy, all of us walking up and down the beach, pointing, "there! there!" as the manatees rolled and spouted. But this was little smooth-headed sea creatures who roll and play and seemed as curious about us as we were about them! Up and down the canal they swam and dived as if to give us a little synchronized swimming show. Then they would come up and look at us! Sleek wet heads and little hairy noses poking up and just, looking at us! After I walked, I planted spider lilies a friend from church gave me. It is the first real gardening I have done since we moved in, but I am excited about gardening this year and growing yellow squash and other southern delights like our cousins Laura and Dennis a few miles to the west near the coast of Florida. They have weathered the sequestration by gardening and getting 2 new rescue pups bringing their family to 4 dogs and a cat! We must continue to live and to help serve the planet. Finally to complete the "sea-show" we have here on our canal… Chuck and I were dock-sitting at sunset and an anhinga flew in…. they swim under water and then come out and dry their wings, and then dive back in. Too funny. You get your hair all dry after a swim, only to dive back in. Up he finally came with a fat fish that looked like an angel fish. Way bigger than the anhinga’s throat. So he floated in the water in front of us, juggling that fat fish, got it into position (scales closed and head down), and he gave several giant swallows. Chuck and I were, as usual, astounded that he could do that…. With several "glump" movements of his head, he swallowed that wriggling fish – Whole and Alive. How’s that for an image!!!! We said goodnight to neighbors across the canal, and next door, and went in to finish the steak leftovers we brought from Renee’s, to finish the MacGyver shows for the season, to read, and to put to bed another day on canal # 5, Good night from Lake Placid!!!!! God bless us. Love and Angels with you.

I have to run to find my Magnificat (daily Mass prayers) to see what day it is because everyday I watch Mass on TV and move the book mark….. But if you catch me out on the back porch, I won’t know what day it is and, as for what time it is, ALL of Chuck’s clocks on the porch read 5 o’clock. You know what THAT means don’t you? So I tend to go through sequestered life in a haze: Wake up, "angel show", Rosary, Mass, all while drinking coffee. Then jump into sneakers and go walk with the girls. Wait until I get plenty sweaty walking and … then it’s time to come home. Shower. Then… it’s puzzle time. When tummy rumbles it’s probably lunch time, but watch the Mass again to get another homily from the wonderful EWTN priest of the day. Then it’s lunch time and watch a show on TV. If it’s not nap time, it’s watch TV time, or oh my goodness…. paperwork time (banking on the computer). Then! Puzzle time until the sun starts casting shadows and it’s cocktail time on the dock with a bottle of wine. Sunset? Bottle done? It’s dinner time, TV time, reading time, sleep time. Is this retirement in isolation or what? In "the old days" my calendar was full every day with ladies meetings or Church duties: Sacristan, lector at Mass, Emmaus, Catholic Women meetings, Crafts group, Bible study….. Now…. well… what day is it is my most important question. and well. what difference does it make?

When I got results of CT scan from Lake Placid doctor and he advised I see a surgeon, I wondered if he read the length of the aneurysm and not it’s width… but Orlando surgeon said I have a twisty aorta and it’s hard to measure, but surgeon says, do not worry about it… get echo cardio gram in 6 months measuring the aneurysm that way…. and…. then wait 6 months and another 6 months, etc. The bottom line is, live and enjoy life. Thank God for life and gifts like a husband like Chuck and friends and family all over who love me!!!!! Until tomorrow…. love you dear friends. God bless us. Angels with us.

May is supposed to be a beautiful spring time month, but some folks have written that rain and cold and fear of infection abound. From my sofa or from our back yard and dock, the world looks pretty good if I don’t turn on the TV to news. I turn on the TV for prayer and Mass on EWTN, the Catholic channel, but the rest of TV is pretty grim. If people aren’t talking about "how we did it wrong," they are talking about death and joblessness. It is reality, isn’t i? A neighbor young man came yesterday and helped Chuck and me to do things we can’t do. Move a heavy stainless steel cabinet from the shed to the new extended dock, dig holes and help Chuck plant the flag pole and my directions sign. Carry the hundreds of shells and coral rocks down to the dock and paste them in with mortor. We ate pizza and chicken wings from Sammy’s restaurant (eating out on the dock in the fresh air, observing social distancing, wearing my mask at Sammy’s) . Then I took the young man, Sergio, over to a friend who also needs what I call "young muscle". They exchanged phone #s and he will help her too. Young people helping others, earning a little money, and … being hopeful. That’s what we need. Hire the young those of us who are retired and need help and have a few extra dollars. I’m also donating weekly to my church. We need to do that. Churches have mortgages, electric, and water bills too. Today, on TV, EWTN crowned Mary, Mother of God, Queen of Heaven singing "O Mary we crown you with flowers today…. Queen of the Angels, Queen of the May…. " Please, if you can’t believe Mary is the Mother of God because you weren’t taught that, or you just refuse it, at least consider what it meant for Jesus to be human and the Son of God, come here to be born (surely we all celebrate Christmas…). Come here to be the final sacrifice so we could have life. Thank God for preparing a beautiful earth for us, and for promising to be with us, "at the hour of our death." God bless you dear friends and family. Have faith. Be joyful in our beauties. Angels with us.

This is the first time in history that we can save the human race by lying in front of the TV and doing nothing….  Let’s not screw this up!!!!!! OK dear readers! This is the time to take all the cushions off the sofas and lounge chairs, vaccume and sweep, and pick up all the quarters that have fallen out of people’s pockets! For me…. I found 53 cents! AND I found a LOT of dust bunnies hiding out! Today a shelf fell where Chuck had put 2 cases of coke when we moved in….The cans had leaked and now we have a sticky mess where shelf and cans used to be…. Clean up on aisle 7!!! (wait, that’s me)… The Coke is probably a hold over from "party days" and making mixed drinks. Now all we have on hand is old whiskey and wine.

I’m getting a little crazy waiting for our trip to Orlando on Sunday. I haven’t been out on Route 27 since March. What will "traffic" be like? When we moved from Miami we left I95, 836 and Bird Road behind us. Now I truly drive like an old lady. 35 miles an hour on the way to "town," windows all open, my hair blowing in the wind!!!! Singing Willie Nelson songs. Me and everybody else. If you see me…. I cut my hair as it was getting in my eyes! Don’t laugh. I just put gel on it and it stands up straight.

It’s time to place an order with Ace hardware. We don’t have Home Depot or Lowes (its a little like Big Pine Key…. You want the big box store it’s a drive to Sebring on route 27….). If you are feeling bored, write a few cards. I send get well cards, love you, thinking of you and birthday cards to people now. I was too busy to think of sending cards before Covid. Go figure. What was I doing???? Rethink, pray, and be at peace. The Lord is with us. He said so. God bless you. Angels with us!!!!

Today (Covid-19 day 81 give or take), I tore a kleenex in half to blow my nose. I looked at that and I started to laugh! I read on Facebook that, before Covid-19, a lady used "to play like a roulette wheel with toilet paper, and now she counts out 5 squares"… I do that too!!!! And then I thought about Mom and wondered if she taught us "how to work with toilet paper"? I guess she did, but I don’t remember, and no one has told me any stories of my potty training…, But I do remember something TOO funny. Mother would sit down and take up the daily Jumble. She had a pile of them in her bathroom. She would take off a wad of toilet paper (how many squares Mom?) and fold them up. (Dear reader, Do you wrap them around your hand?) and then Mom would tuck them into her underpants which were down around her thighs. Then when ready, the toilet paper was ready! Well, guess what? I do that today too. Now comes the too funny part. I drove Mom, my sister Sarah, and cousin Lois to the Keys and we stopped at maybe the key lime shop and went tinkle and bought some key lime juice and maybe a pie…. Back in the car, Sarah burst out laughing, BIG belly laughs. There sat Mom with kleenex tucked in her shorts. OH Mom…. too funny!

Mom, I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. Your lovely small well-groomed hands and finger nails … In 1999 I had to have belly surgery and I called Mom, like we girls used to do. Mom was at every baby’s birth and several other major events for my sisters, but this was my big first one. So at age 52, I called Mom to "come" and she did! Mom walked into pre op with me and she was there when I was wheeled into my room. She spent the night in my room, and she was there when the doctor came in on the second day to pick out stitches. I guess it was the second day…. Did they put in stitches and pick them out two days later in 1999? Anyhow, there were Mom’s beautiful fingers on my belly, pointing the way to the doctor. A mother’s hands. A medical-surgical nurse’s hands. God’s gift. So, Mom, I might have to have surgery again. Big girl surgery. Maybe a surgeon might hold my heart in his hand. I don’t know the details and even if it will happen or when. I understand the aneurysm I have is behind my heart so I assume there has to be some heart moving and holding. Will you be there Mom? I know you will. Point out to the surgeon every little detail. He will be guided by the best, and by you. Thank God for my gift! Thank you Jesus for keeping my Mom close. God bless us. Angels with us.

Have you documented the Covid 19 pandemic for yourself? Like where I was when…. It’s hard to believe it’s been 80 days since Chuck and I "self quaranteened" at home. It was February 16, 3 days before my first cataract eye surgery and I stayed at home for 3 days before surgery to ensure I was germ free. I stayed home for about a week after that and then we had a church Lenten mission on March 8 through 10 and I went, but the real order "stay in a secure location" must have come right after March 8. I remember we tried to sit apart in church, but who can, in church with loving friends? I stayed away from people and I remember, my friend Diane returned a pen I lent to her, and she said, "I wiped it down." The second eye surgery was March 18. If you haven’t had cataracts done…. afterwards the recovery is pretty quick except if you are like me, a glasses wearer, you can’t see really well as prescriptions are changed by the clean lens. So March was "a blur". After that quaranteening, or sequestering, began in earnest…. The town of Lake Placid is a ghost town with all the little shops and restaurants closed except for "take out". Questions rattle around empty streets and houses: What day is it, what is the date? Is anyone telling the truth? Do I care? Fortunately, Chuck and I are on fixed income and I don’t have to worry about where the rent payment is coming from, but we do have renters with whom we have suffered.

Remember the day we watched the towers fall and the stock market plumet 10,000 points? It happened 2001, 2008, 2020. A book called The Harbinger by Jonathan Cahn details God’s call to Israel through Isaiah 9:10 and the prophets of Israel … God ordered us to honor the Sabbath, to take care of the widow and the orphan, to honor God. Israel jerked her head around towards God for a while after they were released from Babylon, but it didn’t take long before new idols were raised on the mountain tops. Cahn details some facts about September 11, 2001, and I also found some similarities in Amos about "the towers coming down." But how in America in our new "world view" can we go back to the morality and life God expects? Churches are closed to keep us from being infected, but many are praying more now as we wonder if "we might be next," as people are dying horrible deaths on respirators with blood clots killing them. So we remain inside (I do anyway) as the nation opens up. Let us pray and be safe. God bless you. Angels with us.