Category: Susie’s musings

My sisters are very conscious of their little sister (me) and her "anxieties…". One sister says she senses my angst, and that I fall back to religion. The Pope writes: "Prayer liberates us from our instinct toward violence." I don’t want to have even the instinct (the animal brain, or some call it the lizard brain) which prompts us to respond with violence and fear to violence and ugliness which I can easily do. I spent the weekend in deep discussion with house guest Karen…. we were prompted by recent George Floyd murder and aftermath "unrest" and we watched Catie Slipp’s documentary on Netflix called 41 Shots. Catie is the Story Editor for one of 6 documentaries called Trial by Media. She chronicled the aftermath of 4 police officers shooting and killing a young immigrant from Guyana…. He was entering his small apartment in the Bronx, entering a vestibule about 10 feet long by 5 feet wide. 4 police officers accosted him and fired 41 bullets into the vestibule. He was unarmed, probably didn’t know the "rule:" "STOP, put your hands up in sight, and PRAY (that they don’t shoot you)." The documentary was captivating and visceral. It sparked many discussions of police training…. Chuck said training in the 70s involved 2 shots then stopping. Many police were being killed, because criminals weren’t stopped." So now… Training involves fire until the suspect goes down. If a suspect remains on his feet… the police reload. So… What happened to George Floyd? There are pieces missing from the video we see. I thought I saw the police shove him into the (passenger side) back seat of the car and then suddenly there he is on the ground outside the car, on the drivers side, with a police officer Knee on his neck. What happened to "take him downtown and question him?" With questioning, the whole $20 counterfeit incident would be brought into the light…. NOW… we citizens who write the laws and rules have to decide… What is offensive to us? What will we accept as actions by others? What is right?

Another name came up this weekend: Breonna Taylor. I think everyone knows that many of us have a weapon near our bed. If I hear the front door broken in, I am to roll out of bed, keep the bed between me and the door, grab my gun, cock it, shout "Get OUT!!!", and shoot if anyone breaches the bedroom door way. Yikes. I hope that never happens. Police were enforcing a "no knock warrant". For heavens sake! It means police can break into a house without warning!!!!! The warrant had the right address, but it was for a man Breonna previously dated who mailed a package to her. She died before she got her moment to explain…. "he’s not here… I don’t know where he is." If necessary they could "take her downtown, and question her."

The young Story Director Catie Skipp had sent out a political cartoon asking … "which act of taking a knee to make a point…. (Colin Kaepernick or a police officer) will Americans decry as an offensive violation of Patriotic values and constitutional rights?" Something like that. I reacted violently to the question and answered "neither! I accept neither!" I don’t equate them or say anything about their value. What I reacted to is "lack of respect for what the flag represents (I used the term "who we are") versus lack of respect for law and life. Both are offensive.

Karen said, but we aren’t what the flag represents anymore. We are a nation who sits on our butts during the National Anthem…. We don’t respect … etc etc. The argument went on through the weekend. And I came out of the weekend saying…. "It is who we are. As Americans, we are the values we were bred with." I think my mother said to me…. "You must do this… that is what we are." Whatever the "good" behavior I was supposed to emulate was based on breeding and teaching. Mother taught us to do good. Work hard. Seek the best. Do I kneel, looking at the ground, or do I stand tall? I stand tall, hand over heart. Struggle to know what is good. Struggle to do good. Peace is what Christ did. He destroyed obstacles to Peace. We can find our way to peace. It’s just a hard road for us who are so covered with negative news and ugliness. Be kind.

The small birds are still struggling for the bird seed. The lady cardinal still comes to the feeder, but she backs off when the big guys come flapping their big wings. She doesn’t fight. You go girl…. God bless us! Angels with us.

Something has happened at the bird feeder! Today my friend and I sat watching for several hours the big and little birds sharing the bird feeder. It’s a dance indeed as the small birds land and the big birds land at the same time. They dance around and manage to get some feed before one or the other falls off with all the flapping of wings. A squirrel has figured out how to leap from chair back to chair back, to an electrical outlet box, to the post that he treats like a ladder… then he got up to the rafters… The leap to the top of the feeder was not pretty and the squirrel rolled and kept running when he hit the deck. As we watched, that was the closest the squirrel got to the bird feed. Two cardinals came for a time and prettied up the place and then… the rains started! Life goes on here on the canal.

If I don’t listen to the news, I can’t talk about it. Instead, house guests and us are watching a John Wayne movie!!! I pray for you that the birds are coming to eat of your gifts, or you are helping some little ones… God bless you! Angels with you!.

My friends writes to me, "We need cops; we need fire fighters; we need national guard; we need Army, Navy, Airforce, Marines; without them there is no order; as you can see." My immediate gut responce is, "Military is not to be used to protect us from within… Dictators use military to keep us under control."

In 1770, we had nothing but our squirrel guns when we revolted (and a few Polish and French supporters). We revolted because the King of England tried to dictate to us. We had nothing but our hearts and a few squirrel guns … Now, granted, our population is (too) well armed, and there is no king. There is only "We the people," and we must police ourselves in every town and state or we will have no freedom. Let us all make sure the "protectors" are our own people. Make sure the captain comes from our community. That "they" are "us." Then let us say to them "we all have the right to a trial." Watching video of the take down of George Floyd, people are beginning to ask, "Why wasn’t he put in a car and taken to a holding cell in a police station" (where he and the officers could get a breathing space). And then… oh my goodness, am I saying this? Let the lawyers take over. In America, under the law, we look at the original crime; investigate and prosecute. Was he trying to knowingly pass a bad $20? Did he take something from the store without paying for it with valid currency? Prosecute that, in the safety of a precinct. The ride to the precinct would be the end of the story and police would go back to their jobs. That’s the way we do things here in America. God bless us. Angels with us.

Good morning dear gentle readers! Today is a day when I focus not outside, and not even inside on my soul, but on the floors and window sills. It is flight of the butterflies Thursday because we have house guests coming on Friday. I woke up with a mission…. First a bath and clean the bathtub. I don’t do any kneel on the floor and scrub routine, rather I fill it and get in. Then the cleaning can be done while my feet soak!. Bugs begone. Have you ever noticed that flying knats love the bathtub? Out damned bugs! Clean the window sill like it’s always been that way, dry me, and come out all victorious to watch morning Mass! Today is Thursday and our weather is a bit cloudy with a massive amount of rain headed up the Gulf of Mexico towards New Orleans. We have a flood watch here and I see the Mississippi River is full and at flood stage… potential flooding everywhere from too much rain. What are you doing Mother Nature? Pray today for peace and do a little bit of scrubbing. Be calm and joyful. God bless us!!!! Angels with us.

I haven’t heard this spoken yet, but it would be great to be able to repeat it all over the United States. "We don’t get another chance to fix this," said the Governor of Minnesota. We must change. Let us look at practices and rules for regulating behavior in all levels of government. Let us raise expectations for kindness. If we must, let us take off the guns. What if police took off their gun belts and walked into cities and towns? Walk in… In the very old days, police wore a billy club and walked in town. Even then, police beat up citizens. "We don’t do that here." Repeat those words twelve times a day if you have to. Repeat the words of God in Jesus Christ, "Love your neighbor."

Let us meet with and thank police and soldiers. Let us change the way we see police and soldiers. Military is supposed to protect us from outside attack, and to preserve our lives and country from outside attack. The police is another matter. The role of police is to protect people and property in our towns and cities. We have rules, and the police job is to protect the rules. What sparked George Floyd’s death and the subsequent rioting is the alleged passing of a counterfeit $20 bill. A store clerk called 911 and said a big guy who was acting drunk took cigarettes and paid with a counterfeit bill. "Oh by the way, he’s black and he’s big; 6 1/2 feet tall". Police responded, and I think we can be certain that angry words were shouted. After that, it looks like Floyd was put into a police car and he wriggled out. At that point, Police had to contain the situation and get the accused person out of the area to the police station. What happened next seems to most of us as something we don’t do. Keep saying that, "We don’t do that here." Make this happen. Take off your guns. Close your mouths if violent hateful words are about to come out. Put fear in your back pocket and sit on it. Pray for peace and a calm, old fashioned America. Fly the flag and know what it stands for. God bless us. Angels with us.

( 1045 am Wednesday) Coral Gables Police Chief just said about dominating police presence: "We don’t do that". He is police chief who initiated meeting of police leaders who knelt on the steps of Coral Gables Police station on Friday. God bless them! We do this here.

What if you call the family of George Floyd to offer condonence, but you don’t let them talk and you march to a church that is locked and stand in front for a photo op, but you didn’t call the ministers to alert them you are coming? How right is all this? I feel certain some of my friends are happy as clams that he went to church and lifted a Bible. But please Google this…. Please google, "US Bishop ‘outraged’ by Trump’s church visit." The steps of the church were full of church priests and seminarians and medical aid workers giving out water and snacks. Yes a part of the basement was burned last night, but that can be replaced church leaders later reported. … The aid workers were astounded when they saw people running toward them, being herded away from the site by tear gas and rubber bullets. They had no warning to clear away which we would do (clear away) if someone said we have to clear the area because the President is coming. He lifted a Bible, and someone asked, "Is that your Bible?" and he answered, "It’s a Bible."… This led me to wonder… I’m leaving my home and going to church… I pick up my journal and my Magnificat (my daily prayer and Mass book). Christians going to Church pick up their Bible. Let me ask you: You are at home and headed out to stand in front of a church (to pray for peace?). Where is your Bible? I know where the Bible my Mother gave me is. I would probably grab that one. I know where the 3 Bibles are that Charlie and Kathy Paparelli gave me. I know where my Emmaus Bible is. All precious and given to me at times in my life when my Christian life was growing in Grace. Is it my Bible? "Yes"… Or no, if I don’t have mine…. "It is a friend’s Bible." About our faith and when we go back to church… Our Bishop for my county here in Florida has determined our rules for when we can go to church. He is opening the churches gradually. The Federal government can not tell us or me when to go to church. That is my call and my Bishop’s call. "Liquor stores are open and abortion clinics are open." Well that’s not my call. They belong to the state. Please look at the areas where Trump is tromping. Remember he ordered churches open for Easter, but he played 2 rounds of golf on Easter. He’s stomping in the wrong area!

From ABC news account: "Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde issued a response to the president’s visit to the church, "The President just used a Bible and one of the churches of my diocese as a backdrop for a message antithetical to the teachings of Jesus and everything that our church stands for. To do so, he sanctioned the use of tear gas by police officers in riot gear to clear the church yard. I am outraged." end of quote. Please my friends, call him what he is, a Bully. (A dictator?). We have had this trouble before. White people have horribly killed black people…. and have gotten away with it and neighborhoods were burned. We don’t seem to have a solution. Chuck says when he road "shotgun" in the Miami McDuffie riots in 1980, the shotgun was cocked and ready to shoot. He could have been one of those who shot a human being…. He said, he saw movement near a building, he readied himself to shoot and a National Guardsman stepped out. That shot gun could have ended my husband’s peace forever if he had used it….

Copied from Google: "Bishop at DC church outraged by Trump visit:" "’I just can’t believe what my eyes have seen’ And Greg Brewer, bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Central Florida, tweeted that he was “shaken watching protestors in Lafayette Park gassed and cleared so that the President of the United States can do a photo op in front of St. John’s Episcopal Church holding a Bible.”

“This is blasphemy in real time,” Brewer said on Twitter. Today’s Gospel is from Mark 12:13. Jesus said we must render to Caesar what is Caesar’s and render to God what is God’s … We are bound by moral truth and we submit to God, our freedom and our human dignity are God-given, but some would take away the dignity and freedom. Recognize civil authority as Jesus had to recognize the Roman government, but we are bound to preserve human dignity…. to develop the Garden. What’s most important? God and the family, and our world. God be with us. Angels with us.

Trump plans to visit St John Paul II National Shrine today. It is 11am. Pray for peace. God bless us. Angels with us.

Surely every Christian knows who we welcomed today! I watched Mass on TV. Isolating myself still from church, I watched EWTN Mass and then Solemn Mass of Pentecost from the National Cathedral in Washington DC. The cathedral was empty. 4 choir persons, one priest, several servers. Isolation and lockdown is not the way we imagined celebrating Easter, Ascension, and Pentecost, ancient Jewish feasts and newer Christian feasts… It is not what we decided to do, how we would celebrate Easter and Pentecost, but here we are, isolated, 70 days after many of us began isolation in the middle of Lent. Today marks the end of the Easter season which many of us church-goers missed. Today we celebrate when Christians celebrate the receipt of the Fire of the Holy Spirit! 2000 years ago a group of frightened men and several women huddled in a room, told to pray, left by Jesus… "Just Pray," he said, "just pray, I’ll come." OK… he said to pray. now what? Think of the emptiness of the first verse of the Bible…. Into the chaos and emptiness, the Holy Spirit hovered over the face of the earth and breathed… He blew in life! Go read chapter 37 of Ezekiel when God told Ezekiel he could restore life to a valley full of dry bones!!! As i sat and watched TV today I wrote: "how is our world today?" Can we ever possibly imagine the chaos of our world? Human anger and greed. Think of Babel building up a tower to get more more more…. but what we have done is let anger and greed reign. And today, Pentecost Sunday, we are deep in disease and riots that only burn every section of our world. Hovering in my quiet home, with country music playing on "Xfinity Music Choice", I call upon the Holy Spirit, "could you please try to get in here?" How many times are we going to beg God to save us? How many times is he going to respond? He promised he loves us. He promised he would come, but we have to be open… That’s a big "have to" and bigger is what we "should do" that Americans right now aren’t willing to listen to… We are so used to our freedoms that when I say, "we should pray…. we should obey the Law (Love)" that people tell me I’m being preachy.

A few days ago, a man of the Law went to work and he killed another man. Recorded on cell phones. That night he was in jail for murder. Oh he did it OK. We all saw it on TV. There isn’t any excuse. It looks like the officer (now, ex-officer) put the offender in a car and the offender crawled out the other side. (It looks like that). So on the other side, a few ugly words probably were exchanged and a knee when to a neck. For 8 minutes. It’s a classic hold that police officers are warned not to use… my husband quotes the rule to me… if you use the choke hold or draw your gun be prepared to kill. Youch. But think about it. That’s policing. And that’s what the officers hear in their training. So what does this have to do with Pentecost. Because it’s happening right now on our TV sets, and in our cities, I talk about it, because it is horrible and in our faces. So how do we reconcile this? I hope you are isolated. I have that vision of the empty church in Washington and my own church here in Lake Placid with many many empty seats. Let us keep the vision of the frightened men and some women in the upper room. "He said to wait and pray. He said he would send a new power." And well, he did. He sent the Fire of his Holy Spirit! Not the fire that incites riots, but the fire that incites love. I can’t go out into the streets, and I shouldn’t! But I can pray and be kind in my neighborhood. In my Publix I can be kind, and in my Winn Dixie I can be kind. I can be kind with "oh my goodness" the IRS and the police officers of my town. I can say, "thank you for your service and I pray for you." God bless us. Angels with us.

News is something Trump encourages nobody to trust. He calls it Fake. So what am I to believe? I really do believe that we need something to rely on other than volatile rhetoric that raises our anxiety level and tempers. What good does it do to throw angry words at crisis when calm, kind words might settle us down? Yelling at students was sometimes my only option, but I knew it wouldn’t work. When I yelled, they knew they got me! They knew I was out of control. I didn’t know how to do otherwise. I could not calm down the mob of 9th and 11th graders I got that last year I taught, and realizing that, I got out. I didn’t teach them much, I never was "in control," and in my mind, the year was a waste. I was not trained to handle a mob and I got myself out. My friend Charlie said, "Sue you are not a policeman, you are a teacher, and THAT calls for police." So I left teaching. I look at what is happening today, our infrastructure is seriously threatened by flooding and storms, and our cities are in flames from rioting. Our hospital ICUs are full; our bars are full too! An Assumption student sent photos of flooding around her town in Minnesota that destroyed roads and bridges. I wondered who is going to help and rebuild? Who is in charge? I voted 8 years ago to improve the infrastructure and again 4 years ago to do the same. Fix America. We seem to be in worse shape. Get up and encourage voting. Don’t tear people down. Be kind. God bless us. Angels with us.

In a previous message I wrote that I sprinkled bird seed on the deck so the small birds could get it. Guess who came? Squirrels. OK so that didn’t work. Today, three birdies fought a big crew of black birds for the bird seed feeder. The little birdies showed the fierceness of hungry fighters and managed to win the hill several times! It was interesting to watch. As we watched the bird feeder we noticed animals lining up. Two squirrels, two mallard ducks, the limpkin and his partner, just hanging out and watching the pontoon boat. Then it began to rain and it has rained hard for about 6 hours. Chuck, noticing the animals hanging out in twos, suggested we should pack a few things in case we too have to retreat to the pontoon boat! I wonder what Noah felt as he built the Ark and the animals began to come in 2s. The east coast has gotten beaten with rain and the State of Florida has been inundated for days. I wish it could wash away Covid. Speaking of washing away Covid, we haven’t seen the otters since Covid the alligator started hanging around. A little prayer for the 2 little cute otters…. Hope they took a trip to another canal.

We must be careful as we emerge from isolation People are taking this differently and what other people do isn’t cause for criticism or bullying. I have not returned to Mass although daily Mass is being offered. In fact I have been walking with a church friend in the church parking lot. She lives across the street from the church and with the frequent rain showers, we just circle the lot and she can run home and I can run to my car if it rains. Well, 9am daily Mass let out as we made our circle of the parking lot and we said hello to our friends who went to Mass. I was questioned and my not being in Mass was queried. "Did I have no faith that Christ will save me? Need to go to Communion, … It’s really OK as Lots of distance is being observed etc etc." All I said was, "No, I’m staying outside in parking lots and sidewalks as much as possible for a while yet." (I’m waiting to see if we get an infection spike here in Lake Placid… ) I hear that air conditioning can just recycle virus as opposed to fresh air which blows germs away. The same with wearing a mask. I went to the Ace Hardware twice today to get bags of cement for Chuck. I had to return as he needed more. So 2 trips and no one but me was wearing a mask. Who is fool hardy? Who is a frightened ninny? This is not my call. Do what you have to do and keep your thoughts about it to yourself! This is a tough time and we are all affected. Be Kind! God bless us. Angels with us.

Good rainy morning! When I got up, Chuck told me the bird feeder is empty and some small birdies tried to eat, but there was no feed. So I zipped out to the dock, disturbing the limpkin feeding on our snails, and refilled the feeder. Now I’m counting 6 small birdies on the dock looking up at the full feeder, and one, no two, big black birds munching away. Those black birds attack each other for the feeder and sometimes a third will come and everybody’s feathers will be ruffled, but the little ones, and now a dove joins them, remain steady under the feeder on the dock. Why don’t they join forces and "take the feeder."? Because they can’t. They are gentle birds. Walking on the ground and eating the leftovers is their way. It’s their life. I often see doves walking around the yard, and I tell them, "get off the ground you silly birds; there might be a cat!" Silly birds. That’s a little the way I feel right now. A silly bird, hunkered down at home, avoiding the public places so as not to get infected. And young people, strong and confident take the world for themselves.

Chuck had an idea: put seed on the ground too. So I sprinkled a string of bird seed on the dock… All birds are now gone. It’s really quiet. Even the limpkin who "owns the sea wall on each side of the canal" is gone. Go figure, I meddled and everybody took off. Probably the gator has come back! Yikes. What a way to begin the day! I better get to praying! Actually Mass is about to begin, then the Rosary, they I will walk with lady friends for an hour. Today is a day to write cards. I have a few birthdays and anniversaries to honor. Also one of our priests at St James will celebrate 70 years in the priesthood on June 4. He is a wonderful, prayerful, positive man who served in Africa among other places taking care of souls. You my dears, have a wonderful day. Stay dry and stay safe! Stand in awe of the glory of God as it rains and cleans the earth and waters the spring buds. God bless us. Angels with us.

ps: The small birdies are on the feeder and the limpkin is back. Now all I need is a little sunshine for my laundry!!!