Category: Susie’s musings

Good day gentle reader! Yesterday I went to my favorite park where I walk in the mornings. This time, we went by pontoon boat and sat and talked to friends whom we have known since we were 16 years old… Across the table, more than 6 feet apart, outside. Good right? Today Chuck said, "When you went to get our barbeque, you were elbow to elbow getting the food plates." Oh darn. It’s actually the closest I’ve been to people since March. Now what? Wait 14 days? I just read a Washington Post article wherein Fauci was interviewed. He is 79 years old and considers himself very high risk. If they get take out and have an outside picnic, all the delivery food is in separate containers so no one has to stand near anyone to scoop their beans. OOPS. He says he wears a mask in public and he will not fly. I hope hope we can live through this pandemic without killing off many more Americans. I’ve read that even when one heals, there is damage to heart, lungs and possibly brain. So, my dears, don’t cluster around the food. Take your own food to picnics. I’m staying inside again and being more careful.

Today is 4th of July when our Founding Fathers pronounced the Declaration of Independence in 1776. And kept slaves until 1865. It wasn’t until 1965 that America wrote what we thought was "final" legislation giving rights to people of color. I am sure many of my older friends remember how Black people were treated, and still are treated. The Declaration of Independence did not address individual freedoms… It was to separate the States from England and her despotic king. It wasn’t for 90 years that slaves were finally freed. So our Founding Fathers owned slaves, but that wasn’t illegal. I think it’s time to let that go. People made terrible mistakes. Let us move forward today in peace and prayer. Let us ask God to help us to humbly make changes that truly make people equal and safe. Go please to your google sites and read the Declaration of Independence, and start today being kinder. God bless America. Angels with us.

This morning as the Market opened, President Trump held a news conference to announce jobs growth. While he spoke, the market opened and climbed 400 points over yesterday’s number. The President promised a bigger and better, even best 3rd quarter economy, just in time for the election. But meanwhile, men like Anthony Fauci and hospital center directors across the nation are warning us we could have between 50,000 and 100,000 Americans stricken with Corona virus every day. I do not watch a lot of TV news, but I have seen 2 walk throughs of hospitals, and in both cases, doctors try to show what Corona virus does. It turns the lungs into a disaster area. If respirator is required, it means the lungs can’t work and airways are turning bloody and fragile. Who is going on respirators and dying? The old, the fragile, the vulnerable, the poor who live crowded together. Those of us who can afford to stay home are doing all right. We can afford to stay home and we should. Those who have to go to work to feed families are succumbing to virus and carrying it home. The ones who are partying and getting sick should be seriously chastised and sent to their rooms. A report indicated that Florida should get a stay at home order, and our governor won’t even say we should wear masks. Life right now is crazy, and the only hope we have is to isolate. And it’s coming on 4th of July weekend!!!! So is Bigger and Better Best? The President thinks so. What do YOU think? God bless us. Angels with us.

My friend Pat and I walked and talked in the church parking lot on Monday, talking of the "awful" things happening in this world, about those in our families who claim to have no faith, who might get sick through careless behavior, … other items of discussion were man’s inhumanity to man, careless treatment of children, pandemic, our fears… As we talked I became increasingly aware that we could let fear overwhelm us if we don’t stop and look up. I felt stalled, but I could only say, as others have said to me, "The Lord is in control." We can’t see him and his controlling, compassionate hand, but we can read and see him in Scripture. See Matthew 8:23. A huge storm threatens the small boat carrying 12 men and Jesus "to the other shore." Jesus sleeps. Finally, the frightened men wake him up, crying, "Save us O lord!" "O you of little faith," he answers peacefully.

In 64AD, Nero initiated mass persecutions of Christians, ripping them up, feeding them to his animals, burning them alive, in his Circus which is now the site of St Peter’s in Rome. The first martyrs died, "covered in the blood of Christ," singing, "Lord save us!" We are challenged today, and he continues to answer, "O you of little faith. You still doubt me!" Today, Matthew continues (8: 28), Jesus sent demons into swine and sent them all tumbling into the lake to drown. The townspeople, not liking that solution, begged Jesus to leave the area! Not liking what is happening… Not believing the Lord is aware and in control? So my Mom might ask, "So what are you gonna do?" Continue forward, head facing forward, looking up. Beautiful sky today, by the way, looking like balls of cotton!!! God bless us! Angels with us.

Remember when we had jobs and a yearly plan and even a 5 year plan was vital? In evaluations bosses would ask, "What would you like to accomplish in the next month that will lead to achieving your plan for 2020? … Where would you like to be in 2021?" Now that I am retired, from several careers, I have different goals: I have some plans for myself like "losing 20 pounds" "walking an hour a day daily and keeping at it" "Painting a few canvases and joining the art leagues in my town when things open up again and virus is under control" …. and that is for 2020. I’d like to celebrate New Years Eve on the lake watching fireworks! I’d be happy celebrating 4th of July on the lake!!!! I’d like to Be peaceful, healthy, agile. I’d like to feel joy, and give joy. Short term, long term that is what goals are all about. There is no money in my goals. God has been good to us, and we have enough. I think being peaceful is the biggest. God sent the disciples out to preach and teach, and he said, "Take nothing. Eat what is given to you and sleep where you are taken in." Wouldn’t it be wonderful to trust the Lord? The gospel is not about prosperity, it’s about suffering… It’s about the Way of the Cross. It’s about changing our hearts and praying for "the others." Today is Sunday… traditional day of going to church … At least let us go out and praise God for the beauties of nature he has given to us. Amen! Alleluia! Thank God. Angels with us.

Remember when it made a difference that it was Friday? Rules were looser; we had casual Fridays, sometimes lunch was brought in, we generally got out an hour early…. Now, I will do the same thing as I did yesterday, and the day before. Life after Covid 19 is even more restricted than life after retirement. I used to go after Mass to the Parish Center where a group was doing crafts, blankets for babies, cards specialized for festival days and given to folks in nursing homes. There is a knitting/crocheting group and a Rosary group who make gifts and Rosaries. That work stopped at noon and we might have a snack together before heading home to husbands who were employed in mowing the lawn or fishing all morning. Now… The group is likewise employed as I am, many in isolation, not ready to go out. We are isolated, quaranteened and looking out at an earth that suddenly holds fear of disease. It’s almost July, and we are still inside. The funny emails no longer come. I think we are worn out. We languish. Like the people who languished on the streams of Babylon….

Today’s and yesterday’s Mass readings from 2nd book of Kings 24 and 25 follows upon the long listing of kings after David who "did evil in the sight of God." They ignored the First Commandment and built altars in the highest places for their foreign wives and invited the idols into their palaces. Killing for greed (like Jezebel did) was normal. Finally the Babylonian king burst through the defenses and carried Jerusalem off in 2 waves… The Temple was burned, palaces were destroyed. A remnant was left behind. Never a perfect people, at least the people had their symbols in Jerusalem. Now, languishing on the shores of a river in Babylon, the people can only weep for what is lost. Jerusalem is in ruins. Never perfect, the people left alive in Babylon, have nothing but memory (Psalm 137). Wow! How grim. I’ve been reading about "American sin" and the stories that are coming out about our building ghettos for the black communities, "outside of town." Sundown towns where people of color had to be out by sundown, etc. We hanged people for their color. In Matthew 8, a leper goes right up to Jesus and asks for healing… "If you will do it, Jesus." Jesus answers, "I will do it." and Boom! the leper is healed. Jesus doesn’t retreat from the leper, rather he puts out his hand. God has sent to the people who failed repeatedly to love a gentle, loving Savior. The Law no longer comes from stone tablets, although the law of the Ten Commandments still is the base stone, but the law comes from the lips of a traveling young preacher who said, "Take my words of love into your hearts, and love your neighbor." Love. My dears. Go outside and look at the beauty of nature. Enjoy some quiet time in the shade (It’s hot out there!). I’m off for a morning walk. You go too and say a little prayer for our hearts and our country. God bless us. Angels with us.

Please let us remember our history lessons. Unions saved small children from working in factories and put the little ones into school. Parents might have needed the money the children earned, but then unions got salaries raised. Police departments were created to "keep folks under control." Many of those folks were black, and "under control" meant keeping them locked onto the plantations, and out of white businesses and bathrooms. That was not so long ago…. So today when marchers say, "Defund the police", I don’t think we mean to abolish police, until we abolish crime… What a conundrum. In the past few weeks I’ve said increase education, child care, young mother care and single mother care. Increase mental health, alcohol and drug abuse services and centers so drunks aren’t shot in the back or strangled in their confused ranting stages. Today Sunday Morning on CBS covered this and the leader of the Police Chiefs’ Union talked about it. We must remember what started all this… and acknowledge what we need to do. Prejedice is real. Let’s be kinder, gentler people.

Meanwhile, the CEO of Apple said (on Sunday Morning) "We must start life on equal footing. If you work hard, you get ahead. Pay what you owe and then give back (more)." What an act of kindness that would be. Chuck and I were born white and somewhat middle class. I remember my father and mother struggled to provide for Christmas. We didn’t have a lot of extra money. But hard work got us forward. Chuck and I worked hard to put money aside. Thanks Chuck.

A beautiul white American egret visited this morning. He came very near… It’s interesting to be "studied" by mother nature!!!! When he’s done; he just flies away. Thanks God for nature! God bless us! Angels with us.

Have you ever had it all played out in your mind when you walk into a place and it plays out that way? I do my research most of the time and write a bunch of questions to ask a doctor. But he covers everything and then he asks, "now do you have any questions?" He sees that 8 1/2 x 11 paper in my lap… he sees me writing replies next to my questions. Well today it was the same. He wants what the 3 cardiac doctors before him told me what to do. 2 blood pressure medicines to keep the aneurysm quiet. Pooey. Plus he doesn’t mind that I am gaining weight. He probably sees it in every patient who has Covid19 syndrome… the growing belly… the slightly rising blood pressure. He is happy as a clam that I walk an hour a day. So why am I gaining weight? Potatoes, noodles, cheese, butter, full fat yogurt, meat. Oh did I forget vegetables? I know, do you find yourself eating richly but with no vegetables? Tonight I added green beans to our sausages ("homemade" by the butcher in town) with baked beans! We are still isolating and spending too much time on the sofa because Covid is still hot in Florida. Hospitals are full so we are laying low hibernating… Take it easy, be kind, and be at peace. God bless us. Angels with us.

Today for the second time I cut my hair (front and sides). I can’t get around to the back. Perhaps it will become a pony tail… The young lady who previously cut my hair here in Lake Placid is still "out at home." She has a child and she is caregiver when child is out of school (since March 15). So, going au naturel is a challenge, but a can-do thing as I’m not willing to go to a hair salon yet due to Covid as positives are "up" in Florida. Who is going to say my hair is raggedy since I gel it and stand it up?! Today was a "Come to Jesus day" as I made all the medical phone calls I have been avoiding… Our general practice doctor here in Lake Placid is very thorough. He wants bone density exam every 2 years, mammograms, blood work, blood circulation, carotid arteries all checked. If he finds something wierd, off you go to the specialist. Well with the aneurysm I have to keep blood pressure low and heart beat down. That takes 2 medicines which I do not like. So I guess I took one of them, prescribed in Miami, until it literally ran out. No refills. I’m not totally disobedient; I do not let heart medicine run out so the scramble began yesterday, "who wants to take care of Susie’s blood pressure which is taken care of to keep the aneurysm quiet"… Not the thoracic surgeon, not the vascular surgeon. It is like it was in Miami with everyone pointing to the general practice doctor. So I have to hope his knowledge is up to date on beta blockers and calcium inhibitors…. which is what these two meds are; all to keep the aneyrysm quiet. It is very creepy "maintaining an aneurysm". Meanwhile I have to get medical records from Baptist in Miami for mammogram and bone density. It’s nice to get a comparison so they don’t think "conditions" are new and they panic.

Oh, and the other one is gastroenterology. Got reflux? It can be damaging. So when the tv ads started talking about Zantac lawsuits, and I realized I had a constant belly ache and pain from an acid reflux med, I quit it. My belly pain cleared up, but general practice doctor freaked out! "Get to a gastroenterologist!" he ordered. OK, OK. I’m seeing general practice this afternoon for blood pressure and he’s going to ask…. did I have appointment? No, but I made one. Dragging me, kicking and screaming, to specialists takes a village. May the village people be kind! God bless us.

This morning in Mass one of the readings was from 1 Kings 21. Jezebel was a raging beauty and an evil soul. Her husband, the king, wanted a vineyard, but the owner of the vineyard said he couldn’t sell it because it was his family legacy. It was a big Jewish custom to pass land down in the family. So Jezebel took her husband’s seal and wrote letters to have the vineyard owner cursed and killed by stoning. Then she told her husband he could go ahead and have the land. Hearing about this and other evil actions make us cringe with disgust. How dare she have a man killed because he defended his family land? How disgusting the times when we take what we want if we are more powerful. Times haven’t changed much have they? Psalm 5 weeps, "Lord, listen to my groaning." … We beg for change. We read the saints for they somehow seemed to "see" the issues clearly. They saw good and evil and saw the roots are in our hearts. What is it that makes us react with distain and disgust to evil actions? What makes us turn back towards the person who hit us from the rear and we retaliate? We detest and disdain our enemy and feel nothing but disgust. And our hearts hurt. Old Testament writers dealt furiously with Jezebel. She fell out of her window, and dogs lapped up her blood. (just as the prophet had predicted).

The line separating good and evil passes right through our hearts; not through politics or economics, but through our hearts. So how do we find peace from this heart ache? Remember when Christ yelled at the money changers in the Temple? We call that righteous indignation. He did not do that very often. Instead, Christ’s teachings, tough as they are in "what we must do" were gentle. His low voice constantly calls us to learn humility. If a man hits us from behind with words or deeds? Give him the other cheek… God gives us the grace and strength. He pours out grace like a giant pitcher of grace pouring out. We are covered, only many of us don’t know it.

My friends talk about violence, law, police, abortion (etc) and always there’s mention of what Biden/Obama or Trump won’t do or does, what’s conservative or liberal or democrat or republican, voices start to rise with agitation and I start to get quiet. Mentally I take a step back and take a deep breath. My feet aren’t moving, but my mind is… If I can get a word in it’s , "talk about the issues; talk about what humanity needs to be human, to be dignified. Talk about ‘what if we could solve this problem’ … what would we do?" All of us, working together, could come up with some ideas. In love. In Christ. Call Christ into the circle! Who actually is in charge? Our God and Creator knows what we need. He is the one who fills us with that grace poured out. Take a deep breath and pray for peace that starts in our hearts. God bless us. Angels with us.

Martina McBride was belting out this song on Xfinity Music Choice which is on most of the day…. And I, looking for the basket of laundry clothes pins, stopped and listened, wondering "Gee, I wonder what I look like?" It’s been since way before March 15 that I got a hair cut and color. I have gained a few pounds and face cream and make up are … someplace. I’ve been through 2 cataract surgeries since isolation so I don’t like to put anything on my face except eye drops. But…. What do I look like? I looked in the bathroom mirror and heaved a sigh. My hair is way too long for my liking. It’s all fluffy behind my ears. Like puffs of gray-blond hair…. the top is rather frazzled looking. I’m in a tank top and shorts and bare feet…. carrying a laundry basket and clothes pins. Not necessarily the movie queen of the week. I remember house wives, wearing scarves over pin curls, a house dress, real shoes and probably stockings… Well, I guess my mirror is lucky I’m not presenting myself at 1230pm on a Friday in my pajamas!

Today I cut Chuck’s hair. I sat him in the bathroom on a small chair on the tile floor and proceeded to run my fingers through his hair and clip away! First one side and then the other side. His hair is soft and fluffy and beautifully white. Did I say soft? One side is actually longer and thicker than the other! I did not clip the back. Just the sides, over the ears, and "a little off the front." This was a really fun exercise. I just didn’t want him at the barbar shop yet. Me either… at the salon. So, next exercise is the scissors to the sides of my hair. OK Mirror, I’ll try to put a little face cream on my wrinkles.

Finally, about what’s happening outside. I understand Florida is a red state. Red for infection rising (not democrat or republican!!!)… It probably started with all the partying. "Kids" can’t do like old folks… Kids don’t think "it" will get them. "It" might be disease or death… Although I think our kids are answering the call to "human rights." Let’s see if they who saw nothing done about school shootings can get something done about murder by power on small people. I heard that Lexington enacted a ban on "no knock warrants." I am so glad about that. For heaven’s sake…. If you think there is someone bad in there, send a squad to the back door and knock and bang yelling "police"… Do not break into a place in the middle of the night. or ever. Also the word "defunding" is appearing. I made a mistake and said to a friend tht we ought to strip the police naked, wash everybody, and start over again…. Well I guess the analogy isn’t a good one. What I mean is get down to the basics and examine everything and strip out those who need investigation, examine the investigations, and look at how we spend funds for child care and child eduation, mental care, homelessness, drug programs, feeding and teaching, and mother care. We still have to get a handle on drug sales (opiods), cyber crime, 911 calls, rape, assult, and all the violence that happens in a crowded world. You can see how difficult this issue is in the 5 minutes you turn on the news. After that, you can turn TV off and sit down and come up with a plan for some change and get it to your legislature.

This week in church (TV church on EWTN) we are focusing on "seeing God’s face" as in "Lord let your face shine on us." (psalm 4). We can’t see anyone’s face if there is no light…. Jesus said, "You are the light of the world" … Shine like light and hold on to the Word of life. The Word tells me God came to earth and we celebrate this at Christmas… He was a tiny, vulnerable child who needed love. We were that once, and in many ways we still are. Let your frightened, vulnerable heart be made peaceful by leaning back on the chest of our Lord who picks you up… May I be so still and quiet that I hear his heartbeat when he picks me up. (Listen to his whisper… 1 Kings 19:9-16). Amen. God bless you.