When I was little, my mother, then a registered nurse in shiny clean white uniform with starched hat and clean white shoes, took me to a McCrorys five and dime on Flagler Street. As we entered the store and the smell of frying liver and onions assulted my delicate nose, mother said, "You can go to college or you can work here." My nose recoiled and took me off to college. From a very young age, I was a reader, a student, a teacher. My dolls were the beneficiaries of my learning. I always succeeded. I always read and studied and I even took my self daily on the bus to high school and college. Mother left for 2 years to get her Masters degree at NYU and I continued to find my way to high school and then college at Miami-Dade. Do you remember going to the "junior college" because there wasn’t money for college? When Mother returned from NYU, she got a teaching job at the University of Miami and I began my career as a working student. I worked in the Admissions office (they taught me how to file and organize things), and I worked in the student union cafeteria, learning prompt attendance at work, and continuing diligence. I actually applied for financial aid to graduate school, and I think I was the only one, or else Mother went over there and talked to them, but I won an Assistantship in the English department. So I was learning at Barry and teaching Freshmen at the ripe age of 21. Work, work, work.
So whats all this about? Work becomes a Credo. We do it despite the belly ache we get driving in rush hour traffic, the tension in our neck as deadlines approach, the nightmares over failing, the carpel tunnel and the stooped back from spending way too much time on the computer. I got lucky and was never out of work. I even quit several jobs, but came out the other side… smelling like a rose. It wasn’t easy. I have gray hair to prove I’m old enough to retire. And THAT is the point. The point is NOW WHAT?
Exactly. Now What? I never stopped to think about it. I just got into it and pushed. Moving from job to job as layoffs hit, or even as I quit and found "other work." Now I have an easy chair and soft shoes with good soles for my aging feet. I have to be careful pulling on shorts and my yoga pants so I don’t fall down. I sit when I put on shoes and socks so I don’t fall down. I can’t lift anything over 20 pounds so says the heart doctor. And I look at the next 10 years and think, "This is it". What should I do with my time? What value do I bring? I have been thinking this a lot as my friend Charlie, a very accomplished business man wonders the same thing. My advice to him is the admonition to review finances; "Do you have enough to stop the "work"? and then…. And then my mind goes blank. I feel like a slacker with my "at home routine." At least I go to yoga and I do laundry so Chuck and I can stay clean and the house doesn’t smell like… well I hope it smalls good. What value do I bring keeps me awake at night. Then yesterday leaving the library, I looked back and watched myself getting to the library. At yoga class I always compliment our teacher. She is beautiful. Well kept, beautiful hair, and a great yogi. I thank her for helping me to "get back from my pandemic slump". I "God bless" her. At the Publix, I joke with the cashier and the bagger. We laugh and I compliment them and thank them for working for me, and a lady customer says, "Can I go home with you; you are nice!" I "God bless them," and head on to the hair salon to make an appointment. I tell Brianna that she comes highly recommended and she is going to have a tough time getting me into shape, but I trust her! I tell her what a beautiful job she does on my yoga instructor and how happy I am to have found her! She looks at me like, "OK, here’s another one who has been cutting her own hair since March 2020. It’s good I guess these untended women are finally coming out again… but, what a mess." She is thinking something like that, and I laugh and bless her! Finally I thank the ladies at the library who have served me mightily at the library since I arrived here, and through the pandemic. We laugh as I take 2 puzzles and 2 books out! "I’m retired," I say, as I realize, "what a slacker I am." And there it is… I have no business, I have no goals, (Well except to lose this gut that hangs over my hysterectomy scar and I can physically feel the fat hanging over my waistline…). I try to make no judgments of others. I try to love. What does God want. I’m a slacker!!!! But then I realize: I’m supposed to be like the lily of the field, I’m little "brown eyed Susan" who made my Mother smile. I laugh out loud in yoga class when we do the happy baby pose! I am the happy baby. I love this earth and gardens. I love sunshine and rain. I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing. Being kind to my brothers and sisters, kind to everyone I meet. Blessing as I go. Just loving one another. And standing there on the sidewalk in front of the library, I touch my heart and I say, "Thank you Jesus." God bless you.