Learn from pain

After the inauguration I felt hopeful and positive despite the Capitol invasion a short 2 weeks prior. Then the President ordered the rescinding of the Mexico City Policy (allowing taxpayer dollars to go into countries who might use it for abortion). Then we watched the trial of a President who was accused of ordering insurrection… “Who Won?” I wrote in my journal in big letters. Nobody is the answer. Nobody won and nobody was held accountable. There were, and still are, dark times. Troubled waters. Once more the slings and arrows were launched. Lawyers are able to say things that sound very believable… On both sides. So slings and arrows from all sides. I watched, because as I told Chuck, “This is history.” Knowing the result despite the way I feel can make the tummy hurt. More hurt. Being unvaccinated; I’m still isolated so talking these things through with people face to face is difficult. I’m on the county list for a vaccination, and I’m following the “rules.” Friends are getting vaccinated in other counties than their own so that is a good thing for them.

All through my silence I was writing in my journal though and I strongly recommend a journal! My friend says, “No one wants to read that …. ” … “what?” I ask, “No one wants to read stuff from your heart? stuff from your very intelligent brain? stuff from your pain?” Ah, pain! there it is. I accuse another friend of ignoring the fact that she is lying to herself and to me because she can’t bear the things she does to get her into trouble, so she says, “My debt and pain are my fate. There will be a miracle.” Oh there I go again, thinking I have the answer. What I do know is that we are not left in the pain. In the darkness. In the tomb. Jesus brought us up to be creative and to procreate. Build beautiful things. Write beautiful words. Make beautiful music. Serve God with good deeds done by the Holy Spirit’s inspiration. We were made for eternal life; our Grace was restored in Baptism, and we are healed with Sacraments which are the healing touch of God. We are healed by Jesus, who, saying, “I will it,” reached out and touched a leper (Mark 1:40) healing the man who asked for healing. “If you wish it Lord!” I weakly whisper. “Of course I do!” answers our God. So, I asked myself in the past few weeks, “How do I get out of these troubled waters that are hurting me and drowning me?” Well the reading on the Tuesday before Ash Wednesday is good for all of us! In Mark 8:14-21, Jesus made a second miracle of loaves and fish… “Don’t you understand?” he asks? “Uh No,” I answer. At one point, God got so exasperated that people just didn’t get it, that he told Noah to build an ark. There is a wonderful church in Nowa Huta, Poland. The government built a Socialist city with no churches, but the people, inspired by Karol Wojtyla, (Pope John Paul II), built the church by hand like Noah did. It resembles the Ark. Why do we need that symbol? Because God found one righteous man and told him, if he works he can save civilization… One righteous man, on an Ark in the shape of a Cross saved us too and that is what Lent is all about. Stay in the Ark was the message to Noah, until I bring you safely outside again. So what does this have to do with Lent? God bless us!

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