Author: Susie

We brought a bench from Miami that has a broken strap. Rather than throw it out, I placed it near the door of Chuck’s shed and now I use it almost every day! When I am changing my shoes from walking shoes to working shoes or when I’m taking off the dirty working shoes, I sit on that bench and look out down the canal towards the East. For some reason the breeze always seems to be in my face on that bench. I look at our trees and at the water always moving by. I feel the breeze and look up at the sky. It is a place where I am alone. The bench is hidden by the shed door. It’s not a pretty place near the open shed! but it’s in a quiet place. I receive an email from a religious group with saint of the day and other messages. Today there is a picture of a woman sitting on the floor at the foot of her bed. The room is dark. She weeps. The article suggests we go ahead and cry and weep, and then, the article suggests praying the Psalm De profundis: " Out of the depths I cry to you, O God." We are in difficult times. Covid is real and it is killing people. The election is over, but we are still fighting about it. Well, I’m trying not to fight…. Go ahead and recognize the ordeal! Lift your head and Plan to live through the day, looking around until you can see the light. I think the hardest thing is to get up from the floor and move toward the door that leads outside. At my age, it’s hard to get up off the floor. I look really awkward in my "get off the floor process", moving from my sprawling position in the yard pulling weeds to standing up… My old body is cranky. My hamstrings are tight!!! It’s not an option to sit in the dirt out in the weeds, but it is an option to sit on the floor at the foot of my bed. I groan. Finally I’m up and I move! When people offer help, I say "No, I have to get myself up in case I’m ever alone." … It’s a struggle. It’s hard! But, get up! Take a few steps towards the window…. Look out. This morning dawned cloudy and misty. "OH! No!!!!!" I said, "I can’t walk in misty rain"…. But get out!!!! It will clear. Of course, I live in Florida, the place of sunshine. Sometimes it doesn’t clear up in the north does it? So make a sunny place inside. Paint it light blue, light yellow!!! Put bright lights there and candles! Go to that bright place every day. Make your own light if you only have darkness. It’s time for me to go out walking and then…. to sit on my bench in the quiet of my yard. Look out and look up. God bless you. Angels with you.

My friend tells me it’s not over. The election isn’t over. A new couple we met for whom I painted a fish, 2 lizards, and a frog on their dock tell me "the Rapture is coming. Haven’t you read Revelation?" he asked. I have, but need some refreshment on the reading and the end times …. So guess what? The church is beginning to read Revelation in Mass. Today was chapters one and two. So! Great; I get my review with current events in mind. Father Matthew is a new Franciscan priest. It’s been nice watching him progress from Seminarian to Deacon, to priest and now he is saying Mass and he’s a good preacher. He explained first that Orthodoxy is common in the church (faith in truth), but without Love, Orthodoxy fails. What did Jesus say? What would Jesus do? The definition of Revelation/Apocalypse in Greek has been called the final destruction, but Fr Matthew said that isn’t necessarily so: In the Greek it is revealing of Jesus Christ… The Rapture is not in Catholic teaching, so let’s search for it in Revelation. I intend to do just that… Is this the end times? As an aside, I watched some of the Million MAGA March and I wasn’t happy. It seems that hundreds (thousands) of big muscled, bearded, pony tailed white men are marching for Trump saying he hasn’t lost yet. I am sorry for my friends who believe this and tell me it’s the end times. I tell anybody who will listen that we have 200 years of Constitutional Law and Amendments keeping us in order. We hold an election, we count votes, electoral college gets involved which is ancient and needs to be changed, and then on January 20 the (and I hate to use this word as some have made it dirty), the "loser" moves out and the winner moves in. For four years. And then we get to do it again. Suppose we don’t trust in the process? Suppose we think it is rigged and fraudulant? Doesn’t that mean it’s all over? Doesn’t that mean…. The Rapture. When we don’t have faith and hope… might as well give up… it’s over.

Orthodoxy is fighting error. But it must be mixed with Love (charity). St Paul said to the Ephesians, "Let only Love come out of your mouths. No malice. Be kind." Do I think the Lord will let me go if I spew Love? The Revelation of Jesus Christ is to show us what must happen soon. So, let’s begin reading! Chapters One and Two today…. We’ll have to scurry to keep up. Tomorrow is chapter three!!!! God bless us.

In daily Mass (On EWTN on TV) we are reading Luke chapter 17 wherein Jesus talks about the servant doing what he is obliged to do… Even if the servant is tired and full of a days work, he must serve the Master. The servant is rarely praised. At the Last Supper, Jesus said he is the servant. Rarely praised, He receives a lack of gratitude to the point of death in a very, the most, painful manner. The most beautiful and pure man we could ever see, killed by men who reject Grace. Some people we know are like those who reject Grace and some are like the one man out of 10 lepers who returns to thank the Lord for healing. Running to the Lord, singing and jumping! Grateful and thankful. Do I express that? Every time I open my mouth I express what I am and I reveal what I am. St James talked about our tongue, and I must be constantly aware of my tongue as I used some angry words in my youth! Expressing hate was often me expressing what was inside of my aching human heart. Now I’m grown and educated and the "old days" expressing my angst doesn’t work any more! Life’s too short. I remember vividly right after our boys came home from Viet Nam and a friend said something pretty awful, I won’t repeat it, and I remember how shocked I was, and will never forget it. Let us clean up our tongues even when we call our aquaintences names for their selfish behavior… let alone calling politicians names! Tired, full of the work of protecting myself and husband from Covid, and tired of politics, I must protect my tongue and serve the Master. Even more as we age. Serve the Master.

As I watch daily Mass on EWTN, Chuck jokes about Catholic feast days and he asks, "what’s the feast today?" Yesterday we celebrated the courage of St Josaphat, a Bishop who tried to reunite the Eastern, Russian Orthodox, church with the Roman, Latin, church. An obstinate faction of Eastern church people killed him for his efforts. They refused to unify East and West. Lately I’ve read and talked with my friend I walk with about the creation of Missouri and Kansas. When these 2 states entered the union, one had to be slave and one had to be free to keep the numbers even. Lincold battled Stephen Douglas in debates and Lincoln actually lost the Senate race, but won the Presidency only to be assassinated. People couldn’t find solid ground to stand on together so people resorted to ugliness and violence. Oh! let us find solid ground on which to agree. Let our solid ground be based on compassionate love for the poor and disadvantaged. Let it be based on love. Look ahead and look up! Ask, "Who can I help? How can I help?" With isolation from Covid… the answer might not be easy but it’s there.

Cindi McCain just said she hopes the demeanor of President elect Biden will be uplifting for America. I woner if uplifting is what we need…. On our walks, I keep pointing "up" "Look at the birds in the tree" I say pointing to 20 Ibis in the top of a tree. "Look at that! Is it an eagle? Look at that!!!!!" We miss the voices of reason. The voices of working together for the country, the voices saying, "Look up!"… For the American people.

I’m moving to new journal tomorrow! Let’s fill our new journals with great stuff!!! God bless America! God bless us!

Excuse me… Its almost Thanksgiving and my Connecticut cousins are cavorting in the garden in 70 degree weather and Florida and the Keys are ducking and weaving to survive a hurricane!!! Well, it’s not a hurricane thank God, but it’s close. The Keys are hunkering down and not evacuating and our friends have shuttered up on Big Pine Key. We too in central Florida have removed all the chairs and toys from the dock. The pontoon boat is tightly tied and … singing "rain rain go away" is occasionally necessary. Lake Placid is under a Tropical Storm warning as announced across the TV screen during a Sunday afternoon Football game… So unreal!!!

The election is over. The votes are counted and many of my friends are …. very quiet, but when they speak… One said, "I cannot support …. him." And she rattled off a few rumors that haven’t been proven. Another ugly thing that I’ve heard is that the Senate will block everything. Oh dear. "My dears." I answer: Let’s give America a chance to …. be America. Opponents are just that; not enemies. We compete. Fighting is against the rules in football and it should be against the rules here too. Opponents are not enemies; they are Americans. WE are Americans. We need to stop demonizing, and decide to cooperate. Lead the little ones to join together to heal and build. Most of my friends are wearing masks to avoid getting Covid and maybe getting seriously ill. So let’s decide to heal our sick hearts too. Joe Biden ended his President Elect speech by quoting from a hymn inspired by Psalm 91….. Let us be raised UP on eagles’ wings! Look up! God bless us!

As I roll into "position" in the night, and I make sure I can breathe with my face down in my favorite prone position on my belly…. I wonder what makes us breathe. Just now, I paid property taxes online. All you do is click a few keys on the computer, asure "them" I am not a robot", and "woooosh," money is gone from checkbook and my bank… to "their" bank. I then pulled up this blog and let out a long sigh…. "whooosh". Was I holding my breath? I wasn’t aware of that! In the old days, what I just paid in property taxes would buy a farm. No wonder my spirit was clenching her breath.

Life is anxious now. I don’t just count pennies. I count in thousands, which, thank God, with careful investment in real estate…. thousands are in the bank for paying taxes. We count votes too….. I turn on the TV for 60 seconds and I look at "the numbers" and I realize, "we have to wait, for the actual count. No guessing. No algorythms. No fancy math. Just one, two, three, 99,465, 108967, etc etc." Real numbers one by one. Chuck and I both remember counting pennies and dimes as we prepared on a Saturday morning for our monthly trip to, believe it or not, the same savings bank on the Trail and… 62 Avenue? There was actually a TV show for kids when (and this might not be his name) Ranger Bob used to talk to kids about saving money… He taught us to count, save, and deposit into a savings account. From our little piggy banks to the bank, recorded in a little book with our names on it! It wasn’t so hard then as we had no real responsibilities… Just monthly or maybe it was weekly deposit in the savings account. My dears! Let us now dig down and find the things we learned back then…. Hope, along with the careful savings, we learned patience and loving kindness! God bless us!!!!!

Yesterday (day after election), I turned on the TV twice. One time news showed a mob of people banging on the glass at a polling place where mail-in ballots were being counted (not quickly enough?). (If the post mark was before November 3, then the ballot has to be counted!) I am SO Glad that glass disn’t break! Oh what a mess we humans make with our ill behavior. Are we undisciplined? Are we sick? What exactly makes me think I can’t trust the counting process? If I can’t trust people to follow the "rule of order" then…. I feel like giving up. Sometimes, following written rules is difficult because we "see another way". But we can’t just do it our way when a process has been in place for a hundred years. OK maybe the old process is flawed and we don’t NEED the electoral college any more. Why can’t we have a vote "of the people"? I can’t answer that, but… "its the rule" and we have 4 years to change it!

The other thing I saw on TV is the Governor of Florida dissing the people of other states because their mail in ballot counting is taking too long. Give it up people! Quit criticizing!!! What is this teaching our children? "You don’t do it fast enough; You don’t do it the way I do it…. you idiot." Oh dear. My dears: I am praying for 4 years of peace and getting along. We voted. The nation voted more than it ever has before!!!! Now let us grab our God’s hand and walk together. God bless us!

Today began chilly here in mid Florida! My friends and I walked in near 70 degree breeze!!!! I did not come home all wet with sweat for the first time! YES! Autumn. Today the temperature will get to a high of 75! I promise not to tune in TV to any news channel until at least 11pm. At that time if announcers are pulling their hair out…. Turn Off the TV and say extra prayer! We all figure a few days until everything is counted, and I think we all agree we hope it isn’t so close it goes to lawyers and courts. And… Then we pray for peace and quiet. I heard sirens today and we never hear sirens in Lake Placid. Well maybe once a week. Sirens mean trouble and we don’t have a lot of that here. Hearing a distant train at the crossing of Main Street and Interlake Blvd is our "world coming through" here in our tiny town. Country music plays on the TV, and I’m going to the bank and the grocery store. All is well here on election day. Let’s all pray and look up! God bless us!

Today is the day before election day! Finally… I’m listening for just a moment to the news which is in heavy speculation mode …. It might take 7 days to count mail-in ballots in Pennsylvania. Florida maybe take a while too. Houston is fighting to keep 120,000 ballots thrown out. All valid ballots must to be counted. We might not know for 7 days! The White House is building a wall due to expected anger and misbehavior. They built the wall before when there was rioting in DC. So…. Hold on folks. Most of us are good at hunkering down: People in Florida are good at sitting and waiting for hurricanes. My northern friends are good at sitting around fire places roasting marshmallows while blizzards wail… waiting. We have all waited and we can do it again. Keep the judges away. Keep the rhetoric to a dull whisper and wait. Praying for peace will help. My dears! Go out and enjoy nature! God is in the world and He loves us even if we are grumpy and mean… Love and Peace from your friend Susie.

I spoke last evening with a friend from Miami who can’t come visit as she has a full time job and is trying both to protect us and to protect herself. Isn’t that awful? We used to sip wine and laugh …. We used to have great meals in lovely Coral Gables restaurants and walk long distances together. Now we are separated and only have the phone or text. She said she feels anxious and unsettled. This calls for sliding closer on the sofa and drinking champagne as we share our feelings, but again, miles and Covid separate us. I told her there is no good result in feeling anxious, unsettled, angry, frightened… now (especially now), or any time. We both know "God is in charge", but even I, who know so well that God is in charge, I slip; big time.

Take today…. I walked without my normal friends today so i prayed the Rosary. I use my fingers, I say all the prayers, I try to get the mysteries of the day in order. I usually end up and realize I forgot the Baptism of Jesus… Same today! I prayed. I looked up at the beautiful sky. I thanked God for the gorgeous breeze and the lake view from the park. Then I even sang a few Marian hymns. As soon as I was finished and I turned the corner onto Cumquat I started thinking awful things about our political nemises. Did you ever imagine what you would do to someone including grilling them, calling down wrath, or infecting them? Well if you haven’t, then you are a much better person than I am! "Stop that!" my guardian angel said! I replied! "Yikes! I know! I know. I did all I can. I pray and I voted. That’s it. No bad thoughts. No bad words. "

In the Gospel this morning (Luke 13:10…) Jesus called out to a humped over lady; he laid his hands on her, and he straightened her up. He healed her. The church leaders criticized him for breaking the law. Jesus! They criticized Jesus! Jesus just turned to them from the Cross and asked his Father to forgive them. They are the worst of the worst for not taking care of their people and for criticizing the good man Jesus, and Jesus says not a word but he prays for them. St Paul says in Ephesians 4, "Be kind, forgive, have compassion." Do I believe this? As I walked home today, I asked for forgiveness… It seems I do this every day! "Forgive my sharp tongue and my judgmental imagination!" It’s not for me to judge; it’s for me to pray and vote. Done…. but I look up, and my guardian angel transmits the message, "Keep praying!". Keep admitting we have dirty feet and dirty hands (humility). Admit we can’t act alone (be merciful to me O God). Let God’s heart come in contact with our heart. Open up and show God (He’s seen it all). I have to ask God to get out his special Windex and wash me every time I let my mind go awry and every time my lips speak "not love." God bless us.

Our friend Renee has a beautiful back yard and front yard flower garden. Renee works hard, pulling weeds and replanting, and the result is beautiful. She has butterflies galore! Last time we visited her, she cut a ginger flower and brought it inside. I could barely restrain myself from hovering over the flower vase while Chuck and Renee watched movies on TV. "Susie, what are you doing in the kitchen, again?" Renee would ask…. "Smelling the ginger." I would reply with a silly grin. Finally, after moving into our new house with a big back yard, winter breezes, and a pandemic, I have finally dug a garden spot and planted flowers! Come on butterflies! Well, first, the seeds have to sprout and flower… but it will be this year. A Covid garden is something positive that isn’t torn up and reboxed when a puzzle is finished, or returned to the library when Chuck and I have finished a book. This morning I watched Sunday Mass, walked with neighbors and …. after planting seeds, I finished a puzzle and we are watching football! Busy busy! I hope we can continue with safe football! I hope we can find joy in small creations that keep our hearts happy. God bless us!