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Susie's musings

What is Bittersweet?

Bittersweet is good and bad mixed together. It is chili that makes us say "mmmmmmm….. oh!" when the "kick" of the hot peppers hits. It is creamy chocolate that makes us wrinkle our lips with its bitterness and soothes us with the mellow softness of its milk. Bittersweet was listening to my step-dad Jack, as he declined in his 90s, come down the hallway of his apartment, and listening for a loud thump and the loud yell for my mom, "Grace!" Bitter were the calls to 911 to ask the Euclid fire department to come help pick him up. Sweet was the sight of the strong young men and women of the fire department and their assurances that "they didn’t mind!" as they leaned over Jack with gentle hands. After a lingering illness, my step-dad Jack Harlan died on February 1, 2007 at 4:20 am at the age of 96 years. Bitter was a series of strokes that led him to hospitals and finally nursing homes. Bitter was watching Jack lay in a bed with the indiginity of all his bodily fluids draining into bags to be emptied by a series of young aids. But sweet was the two years Jack’s grand children and great-grand children gained as they grew to know the wonderful stories and jokes of a man who was born in and loved one of the greatest of old American cities, Cleveland, Ohio. Bitter was the pain and anguish of watching him suffer, but sweet was the knowledge that we all were accepting "God’s time." Sweet was the knowledge I gained from watching my Mother love and care for a man unconditionally. Sweet was the big family I gained from the union of this big bear of a man and my little Mom. Bittersweet is a snow fall that covers a multitude of evils like rocks, dirt, trash, and a coffin with shining white softness. Bittersweet are the faces of the young soldiers who fold flags over coffins while honoring those who served America. Serious military faces, fresh, young, and dying too soon. Sweet is the blaze of glory of a sunset signalling the coming of darkness and the sunrise that returns every morning as if to fulfill a promise. Sweet is the face of God that we will see when we finally shed the pain of the bitter darkness and accept the sweet promise, "I will be with you always."